So this is it…(dramatic pause here)…the last day of my 30s. I know that sounds dramatic but I feel like I have learned so much just in this year alone that it’s important to me to document it somehow. Forty is coming at me fast and furious, part of me is ready, part of me is in denial, and part of me has a half pint left of Ben and Jerry’s Urban Bourbon sitting in my freezer on standby when I’m ready to eat my feelings.
Anywho, so now I guess it’s time for me to become an adult, a legit, forty-something. I guess now I am supposed to be wiser and more seasoned on certain topics, right? However, somehow I still feel like I am a twenty-something which makes no sense because I have no interest in going back to my twenties. I must be getting older because I never thought I would say that. Like EVER. I am at the stage in my life where I am looking back and can say that I am so different than who I was at this point ten years ago entering my 30s, and I am actually proud of the person I’m becoming.
I do feel that as I look back I am trying hard to remember what I have learned over the last 39 years and 364 days. The ah-ha! Moments, the ups, the downs, and hard life lessons. At the end of the day, the biggest lesson is: It shouldn’t really matter-just live your life to the fullest and be happy. I am pretty sure everyone has these moments at some point or another. What matters is what you do about them, take from them and learn from them.
So here is a list of 40 things I have learned along the way about life and/or myself. Maybe you already know all of the things on my list or maybe I can help you to pick up a few new facts before your next birthday.
1. There are not going to be 40 things on this list. Who has time to read through 40 things?! Not this girl. I don’t even know if I would have 40 things to list here. And 10 years ago, that would have been what I would do, I would have listed 30 things and it would have been all cute and completely predictable of me.
This almost 40-something has learned that I would much rather not go with the status quo lately. Do what may be a little unexpected, break the mold, try to be full of surprises. So maybe I’ll end up listing 8, 19, 34 or 20 things—doesn’t matter. Learn that you don’t need a plan, and wing it sometimes. I have always had a Plan A, and then a Plan B, and a Plan C on standby. Now, I am trying to just go with the flow as much as I can. This has been a hard one for me, especially being a Virgo—but it has been an important one and if you read no further I’m ok with that because I feel that strongly about this one.
2. Just as important, (and thank you for continuing to read on) your eyebrows really shape your face. I learned that the hard way when I “accidentally” removed the inner halves of mine when I was like 12. It wasn’t a good look on me. Take care of those arches ladies (and gents). It’s one of the first things I notice and I can’t help it. Guilty as charged.
3. Growing up my grandmother would always say, “Little girls should be seen and not heard”. So that’s pretty much how I grew up, kept to myself, observed and listened…until something clicked and I realized that wasn’t me—I should be SEEN and HEARD. I mean there is a way to do this appropriately, so I suggest when you are seen and heard you do so with class. Class is important.
4. Speaking of class…you either have it or you don’t. There is no in between.
5. Smile when you feel sad and know that it’s ok to ask for a hug. Try it right now, if you make the biggest smile you can, you will automatically feel happier. If you are lucky enough to have someone to hug you—really hug you tight and hang there for a few moments—that feeling alone can melt the sadness away. I can always go for a hug like that. (tomorrow would be a REALLY good day for a hug)
6. I need a lot of different shampoos. NEED not want. That’s just the way it is. Bad hair day…blame the shampoo of the day. Switching it up is a good thing…on the daily. My husband doesn’t call me Medusa for nothing, sometimes I put extra bottles in there just to mess with him.
7. I am not a good cook. I tried. I can try harder. I need to make the time to cook and when I actually do I can be semi-good at it. But it’s not my forte and I will accept it.
8. This brings me to meal prep. It’s impossible in my house. Can’t happen, my savages eat all my food, healthy or not. So, spending time prepping for the week here just translates to how much can I prepare so that these little animals can eat it all in less than 4 hours. Not for me.
9. Hairspray. I can’t live without it. Not in a Teresa Caputo way, but if I am going to have any style to my hair—it needs to be held with the spray. Don’t judge.
10. Lipstick. Need I say more? You can never have too many. Don’t leave the house without any on. Even if it’s a clear gloss, I always have something on. OK? OK.
11. Amazon Prime Membership is totally worth it. It can be dangerous, but totally worth it and saves a bunch of time.
12. You will reevaluate relationships every so often. There are people that we cross paths with for a reason, a season and for a lifetime. They will enter your life at different times and you may be surprised just who your absolute true friends are. When you do, let them know how much you love them and care about them. If it’s consistently not reciprocated, you will know it’s time to place your energies elsewhere.
13. Just say the real reason, if you can, that you may need to cancel plans with someone. Don’t give a lame excuse. I would rather hear you are broke, don’t feel like it because you had a long day, don’t want to see me, don’t like me anymore, whatever, than get some reason that is obviously not the reason you are canceling.
14. Read as much as you can. Whatever you want to read, just keep your brain sharp, escape in a book, and learn something new. I’ve recently started reading again and it’s become my escape and it’s a feeling of accomplishment when you finish a book and can feel the impact it has made on you.
15. I am not a politically charged person. I may pay attention, but I will respect your choices no matter what side you are on. Everyone has a right to their opinion. I’ll leave that one there.
16. Whiskey. Who knew? I used to drink Midori Sours! Ten years ago I never would have thought I would be drinking whiskey when I loved my sugary drinks. And now I love me a good whiskey. I love the warmth of it and the benefits. Don’t know what they are? Google them…stat! You. Are. Welcome.
17. If you want something, ask for it. Don’t think that you can’t, don’t hint because people usually don’t pick up on the hints. Just put it out there. Straight.
18. Get a bra fitting. If your bra fits you right, you will see and feel the difference. After three kids….you can trust me on this one.
19. Don’t think every new trend and style is for you. If you don’t love the way you look in something and feel you just look “ok” don’t buy it. Also ask yourself if something is too trendy or if the piece is something classic enough where you will get your wear out of it for many seasons. Trust me on this. I decluttered and was sick to my stomach when I saw all the trendy clothes that I put in the donation pile. It feels good to donate though but think about your purchases first and ten years from now.
20. Learn how to say no, let go and let it flow. Ditch the whole idea of being perfect. You will disappoint others, yourself included. It’s normal and part of life. It’s how we learn. But it’s important to stay true to yourself and do what is right for you-so if saying no to something is what fits best with your desires-by all means do it.
21. Do not over commit and under deliver. Just don’t. It’s so much better to just say no and leave it at that.
22. If you are thinking of doing something nice for someone-do it. Don’t OVERDO it. So many times I used to see something that would remind me of someone and want to buy it or mention it, and didn’t because I didn’t want to seem like I was being “too nice” or whatever it may be seen as. These days, if you cross my mind and I see something I will let you know, because life is just too short to not show you I care.
23. Let your kids splash in the puddles after the rain. (My sister will just love this one) Live vicariously through them with a little bit of reckless abandon. That kind of happiness is so good for the soul, for them and for you.
24. Don’t compare your life to anyone else’s. I can assure you that what you think isn’t always the case about someone almost 100% of the time. Trust me on this. I am the keeper of a lot of secrets and I can attest to this for many of my clients. Life isn’t always what you think it’s like for someone on the outside as it is for them on the inside.
25. Don’t assume. Don’t. What we create in our heads will destroy us. Ask questions, communicate with each other and get the FACTS. Much conflict in relationships can be avoided and resolved if we can eliminate our assumptions about what the other is thinking, doing, why they are not responding back, etc. It’s too vicious of a cycle.
26. Don’t rely on all these popular inspirational books. I read them myself but I feel it is important to listen to your own inner voice. Learn what it is that inspires you. Your OWN story. What is your story? Write that versus reading someone else’s.
27. Life is hard. It will challenge you, break you, build you back up. It’s a roller coaster ride for sure. It’s up to you to figure out what makes you happy. Live your own moments and relish in the small moments. Someday you may look back and realize they were the big moments. This is the hardest part for me about turning 40, it’s not the whole aging thing or any of that, despite my references to lipstick and shampoo above. For me, it is that I don’t want to miss those moments that are yet to come. Life IS short, every day isn’t guaranteed and each day we wake up we should remind ourselves of that. (Put the lipstick on though just to be safe)
So, we will leave it there at 27 things. Deep breath, I am smiling because I feel a little sad, I need a hug but I’ve got this. Oh and one more thing…
28. I have learned that you can have TONS of class and drop and F bomb every now and then and it feels really good when you do. (You know you want to drop one right now just because)
And so with that… I’ll accept this and say Eff it…Hey 40! I'm Ready for Ya! Let's do this! (Let me just finish my Urban Bourbon first)
Xo, Gina