7 Reasons Why Putting Yourself First Is Better For Everyone

As Featured in Thought Catalog - Click Here or Read Below!

△ 1. You become more giving.

When your mind, body, and soul feel full and content, you end up expecting and wanting less of others. You have filled up your own cup so that it’s full and ready to give to the next person who needs it.


Let’s say your boyfriend is going to be home late after a long and stressful day at work. You’ve spent the evening making your favorite dinner and watching reruns of your fave TV shows. You’ve had plenty of time to put your own stressful day behind you.

Then the BF walks in and he’s grumpy. Work didn’t go well. He’s hungry and wants you to make him a snack because he just wants to collapse on the couch and play video games.

It may seem contradictory but putting yourself first can work wonders in your relationships.

△ 2. Your happiness is contagious.
This saying is a cliché because it’s so true. When you’re around someone who is a Debbie Downer those negative those feelings will start to rub off on you.

The good news is that the same goes for positivity. When you make the time to decompress and recharge, others will feed off those vibes and adjust their moods accordingly.

△ 3. You will motivate others.
When you focus on your self-care, you will start to feel more energized. You will inspire yourself and start thinking of dreams and goals that you want to accomplish. You’ll start to inspire those around you to do the same.

When others see you accomplishing your goals – they’ll start to think maybe they can too. Your self-care can have quite the ripple effect!

△ 4. You have more energy.
An important aspect of self-care is keeping yourself healthy – mind, body, and soul. You’ll have more energy for all you set to accomplish! No more excuses as to why you can’t keep up!

△ 5. You’ll be more forgiving.
When you take time for yourself, you exercise more patience and learn that everything has perspective—one which you can more easily keep in check with reality. Taking time for yourself will make you more understanding when life throws its lemons at you. It’s up to you to make it a great batch of lemonade.

△ 6. You pace yourself to avoid burnout.
You push through it all. You stay determined to be that person that can handle everything on her own. Burnout is a real thing. Either you get physically sick or you lash out and feel like totally throwing in the towel because it’s too much.

Don’t let this happen. Love yourself enough to take time for YOU.

△ 7. You will be an inspiration.
When you’ve got it all together, people notice. They’ll think: “How does she do it all and without complaint?”

And you’ll know the answer is “selfish” and they might not understand. They might judge you if they knew you left the kids with dad on Saturday so you could go see a movie by yourself. But little do they know, they’ll want what you have, and if you tell them your secret – it might just inspire them to do the same.

Make being selfish a priority in 2019-you owe it to yourself.

Be (the) Present this December

If you’re anything like me you either vow to be on top of it all and as ahead of the hustle and bustle as possible or....you are the hustle and bustle!
December seems to provoke a time of stress and the expectation of being the best yet. But what if we decide to intentially take pause and take a step back from the busy-ness of the holidays to think about how to make it a season that we will remember. Purposely remember it. Savor it. Memorialize it.
As much as I hate to admit it, it's a lot easier to say, "Be present!" than it is to actually do it. This year I've decided to come up with a (hopefully) plan to make the most of this month, and not just for purpose of the holiday season.
Create a December to Remember with the Be Present Plan
△1: Live each moment in the present. During the holiday season, there is so much going on. There are holiday gatherings to attend, gifts to purchase, cards to mail and more. We tend to get lost and forget that the season is about - giving to others and spending time with those you love. If you find yourself overwhelmed by the chaos of the season, take a deep breath and pay attention to the present moment. If you take a moment to pay attention to what's going on around you, you'll be much more likely to remember it long after the season has passed.
△ 2: Carry out your favorite traditions. Are there things you love to do every year? Are there traditions you miss from when you were younger that you can keep alive? Sticking to the traditions to love is one way to make sure your holiday season will be more memorable. Embracing traditions you know and love really can help to make your holiday more memorable.
△ 3: Be open to new experiences and do something you've never done before. Trying something new -- regardless of what you're celebrating -- is a great way to make a moment memorable. When we do the same thing over and over again, we're a lot less likely to remember it. So if you really want to up your being present game, open your mind to new ideas and don't be afraid to break away from the things you've always done. You never know -- you might just create a brand new tradition for yourself!
△ 4: Capture your moments but also find balance by putting the phone cameras down and enjoy seeing the memories outside of the lens. We fall into the trap of trying to capture moments that are “post worthy” so much that we miss the importance of those moments as they are happening. Really think about what you want to remember this December and be sure capture it on camera and in your memory.
△ 5:  Take the time this December to write about the moments that matter most to you. When rushing around it will be hard to pause and write down the memories you're experiencing, but, believe me, you'll be happy if you take the time to do it. Even if you don't have a ton of free time, set aside a few minutes at the end of every day this month and write about what you've experienced. Write about the things that meant the most to you and strive to focus on the positive things about the holiday season. If you take the time to write it down now, you'll look back in years to come and smile at the memories.
I really, really want to stick to this plan and embrace the moments I'm experiencing. I want to live in the now and be completely present. I am really going to try to live in the moments this December and, hopefully, it will be a December I’ll never forget.

Give + Be Grateful

Move your body. Quiet your mind. Take a deep breath.
Reconnect with your authentic self and find your true purpose.
Someone once said to me, “Life is short, but it is also long.”
You have time to come back to you, and that time is now.
It’s time to give and be grateful.
It’s time to reflect on what you have gratitude for.
It’s time to increase your feelings of self-love, mindfulness and become even more aware of you and all that you have to give and be grateful for.

Why Give and be Grateful?

• Gratitude motivates contentment. It also improves mood by enhancing feelings of optimism, joy, pleasure, enthusiasm, and other positive emotions. Conversely, gratitude also reduces anxiety and depression. 

• Gratitude promotes physical health. Did you know that there are studies that suggest gratitude helps to lower blood pressure, strengthen the immune system, reduce symptoms of illness, and make us less bothered by aches and pains? 

• Gratitude enhances sleep. Grateful people tend to get more sleep each night, spend less time awake before falling asleep, and feel more rested upon awakening. If you want to sleep more soundly, instead of counting sheep count your blessings. 

• Gratitude strengthens relationships. It makes us feel closer and more connected to others. When we feel and express gratitude for one another we become more satisfied with our relationships. 

• Gratitude encourages “paying it forward.” Grateful people are generally more helpful, generous of spirit, and compassionate. 

Two specific ways you can practice the skill of being grateful are by writing gratitude letters and making gratitude lists.

A gratitude letter is one you write to someone in your life to express appreciation for ways they have helped you and/or been there for you. Gratitude letters can be about events that have happened in the past or are happening in the present, and often help to strengthen or repair relationships.

A gratitude list consists of writing down 3 – 5 things for which you’re grateful every day, each week, at other intervals, or under situation-specific circumstances.

Try one of these methods and then take notice of how you feel and if your mood has shifted.

Let me know what you experience!

We Could All Use a Little Woo-Woo

If you’re like me, you may find yourself drawn to things that are considered a bit more “woo-woo”. You may pay extra attention when you see the same repeating numbers or have serendipitous encounters with strangers. You could have had a few dreams that manifested into reality, and you firmly believe in the law of attraction. You just may even have a stash of crystals or tarot cards.

However, if you’ve been like me you may have been reluctant to show too much woo-woo to the outside world due to fear of being judged or misunderstood as a freak or simply unprofessional. So, you mask that spirit-junkie side of yourself with what is more widely accepted to satisfy a more professional vibe. However, you may find that you are left needing MORE.

So, if you’ve been like me, I am telling you it is time to come out of the woo-woo closet! There is nothing to be ashamed of and so much more to embrace. Astrology, synchronicities, coincidences, and spiritual tools are totally natural and the more that you are open and accepting of them, the more they will enhance your life. When you start to really pay attention to all that is out there and find that you already know others that are also ‘into’ spiritual sh*t, you learn that you may actually have been doing yourself a disservice by suppressing it.

I am quickly finding that there are a lot more of us out there than you may think! I am learning this through my client base and since coming out of the woo-woo closet-I have attracted many more clients that are like minded-and interested in getting more in tune with their own woo-woo vibe.

I am consciously making my way out of the woo-woo closet and am embracing my inner soul shaker. As a soulprenuer, I am here to serve not only myself, but my clients in every way I possibly can. If that encompasses traditional coaching blended with a dash of intuition, a heaping of crystal therapy and a touch of oracle card guidance-then so be it!

One thing I know wholeheartedly is that just because something is deemed unconventional, doesn’t mean that it doesn’t work.

For example, since delving further recently in crystal therapy I have had an abundance of synchronicities happen that I just can’t explain otherwise.   I am also learning that it is perfectly acceptable to not label myself as a certain type as long as I am continuing to evolve and staying true to my authenticity. I am following what feels divinely right and so ready to share the woo-woo light with you!

I am now offering Crystal Clarity Sessions and offering oracle spreads using a special Oracle deck for creating and staying in tune with your soul’s purpose. 

So, whatever you want to call it - woo-woo, juju, mindset, intention, whatever you need to call it to make it appeal to you, just do it! Open your soul and see all that is possible, I'm not lying to you when I say it is worth it. 

Learn more and book your session at www.ginaclapprood.com 

Find Your Square

I give up.

Perfection is overrated.

I am not perfect and have finally given up on striving for perfection.  Maybe this has something to do with now being a solid year ahead of my forties and having a new perspective on the importance of certain things in my life, I don’t know.  I do know that I have always been a Type A personality. No matter what I was working on albeit myself, career, raising three boys, etc. I was striving for perfection. 

I’ve never been competitive with others but have always been trying to ‘one- up’ myself.  That alone can become exhausting and the stress of achieving that level of perfection can really do a number on you and wear you down. 

I am always advising others to bolt out of toxic relationships with their partners, but why not follow my own advice and get out of the toxicity with myself?!

So, starting today, I have made the commitment to myself to do just that.  I have ‘given up’.  I’ve risen the white flag and the towel has been thrown in the ring. 

I have realized that perfection is the enemy and that “close enough” is more than ok and in a lot of aspects much healthier and even more fun!  We are constantly evolving and that’s completely how it is supposed to be right?  Once I let the idea of perfection go, I also felt the burden of being enough go as well.  It is a much less stressful space to be in.

When you strive for perfection you remain in your comfort zone.  You worry about what others will think.  Do you look ok? Was your presentation ok? Did you meet their expectations?

Were you enough?  

Probably not.  And that’s ok because it’s actually a better spot to be in.  It leaves room for dialogue, conversation and opportunity for so much more growth.  It helps you evolve into the best version of yourself which is wonderfully flawed and imperfect.

Know this.  You deserve a place in their circle and if you are misjudged, you go and find a new circle—or even better find your square. Our lives and strife’s are ours and ours alone to define.  We need to let go of what we are working against and stick to our true north.  We need to stop letting someone else dictate if we are too much or too little of something to suit them. Instead focus on what suits you.

Each one of us is evolving and each one of us is SO worth it. 

Speaking of evolving, you may notice that I have a new logo. I feel this represents the evolution of me and my practice.  For me the crescent moon in it’s first phase represents that there are so many stages of growth we navigate through in our lives, if you need me, I will help guide you through them. The lines shooting from the moon signify that your potential is unharnessed, and the sky is the limit.  Overall, I understand it represents a crown, and believe that if we all practice a little more self-love and ‘selfishness’ that we will truly be crowned with the blessings we deserve and owning each and every one of them. And yes, for those of you that have been with me from the beginning, the logo also has an overall celestial vibe to represent my intuitive insight…and a few new things I will be adding to my services soon! Stay tuned.

LIVE THE PROCESS : Editorial Feature | Lessons From Gina Clapprood

  "Erica Cornwall sits down with longtime lifestyle coach and intuitive, Gina Clapprood, to learn more about her unique way of supporting people—especially women—and about the benefits of being more selfish."

I am so blessed for those amazing souls in my life, that every now and then, see the amazing in me and share it with others. Thank you Erica Cornwall for this editorial feature on me.

If you ever wondered what I do, or why you may want to connect with me. This interview in Live The Process perfectly describes it.

I was referred to Gina Clapprood by an amazing friend of mine, who happens to be a celebrity tarot reader. She works with A-listers like Gwyneth Paltrow, but, every once in a while, she needs some guidance for herself—so she calls Gina. She suggested that I do the same.

That was six years ago. Ever since I have contacted her anytime I needed to make a big choice or validate my intuition when it didn’t seem logical. She has been able to support me in becoming more clairvoyant myself and more confident in my inner guidance. 

She’s not your typical woo-woo reader. She’s a very down-to-earth, funny, matter-of-fact, kind, but also realistic human. She has had a day job in the corporate world and is happily married with three kids. So, unlike many of the readers I’ve met along the way, she’s very “normal” by societal standards. She works with questions very well: she gives you both guidance from her master helpers and also space to disagree if something doesn’t resonate with you. She helps you weigh your options and take an in-this-lifetime look at things. She’s also nonjudgmental and brings light and humor when things feel sticky. 

Over the years, Gina has become someone I talk to like a friend. Having her support during shifts and scary times has helped me find peace with many struggles, plus self-love and acceptance. She’s great for a quick ask or an in depth reading and is available via email, so it’s easy to get guidance.

I sat down with her to learn more about how she helps people:  Read Full Article on Live the Process

Fall in Love with YOUR Life

It is so easy to get wrapped up in the day to day routine of our lives.  It happens to the best of us and is something I often focus on with my clients – how can we stop and be in the present and truly appreciate where we are in any moment? 

This is something that I personally am seeking out to do this Fall to keep myself not only sane, but deliberately happier. 

So, as we head into a new fall season, here are some tips to take action and “fall” back in love with our lives:

1. Wanderlust. Designate one day or weekend a month to get yourself out of the city, out of the country or at the least, out of the front door of your house. Be adventurous and journey to somewhere you’ve never been. It doesn’t have to be a far destination and could be as simple as driving to a coffee shop a few towns over that you’ve heard of. 

2. Be spontaneous. Instead of trying to have everything planned out and control every aspect of your life, give your life the chance to surprise you for a change. Push yourself out of your comfort zone. Say yes to the date you would usually reject or the party you’re not sure if you should go to. Sometimes the things we’re most resistant to agreeing to end up being the things we’re most thankful to have done – but you’ll never know unless you give it a shot.

3. Learn to accept what is being offered. Why struggle if you don’t have to? Accept help from friends when they offer it. Accept compliments when they’re directed at you. Let yourself be loved in the tiny ways you don’t always allow yourself to be and watch how much easier it becomes to accept your own love, too.

4. Practice forgiveness. You deserve peace in your life and you won’t be able to achieve that peace unless you can work to let go of any grudges you are harboring. This doesn’t mean you need to accept others back into your life but allows you to bring peace back into your own life.

5. Choose to see the good. Instead of allowing your brain to sway toward bitterness and judgement, try focusing your perspective on the good qualities in others. This will help free up your thoughts and allows you to focus on all that you love and appreciate in others.

6. Make positive plans. Instead of focusing on what could go wrong in the next couple of years, try taking a long look at what could go right. Plan your life as though all of your wildest dreams could and might come true – you’ll be surprised at the effect this mindset has.

7. Dress for success. You deserve to feel good about yourself. Our outer appearance dictates almost nothing about what kind of people we are – but it can influence the way we feel. When we present ourselves in a way that makes us feel confident, that confidence shines through in everything we do. Figure out what that means for you, is it a new hair style, lipstick, outfit, etc., and then go for it!

8. Pick your jam. Listen to the right kind of music.  Listening to music can be a gamechanger when it comes to our daily routine and we can use that to our advantage. By coordinating the music you’re listening to the mood you’d like to be in, you can train your brain to engage in positive (or mellow) vibes as needed and it can also help get you out of a certain mood as well.

9. Challenge accepted. Who challenges you? We all need people to push us a little outside our comfy boxes.  Decide who in your life challenges you to think, want more for yourself, take action…and holds you accountable. You will feel challenged, inspired and should you accept - successful in return. 

10. Laugh a Little. Make laughter a priority. We are so good prioritizing work, school, the gym and other activities – but we’re not as comfortable prioritizing the activities that bring us true joy. Like sharing a glass of wine and a night of jokes with the people we love most. You will quickly find that laughter truly is the best medicine.

11. Choose optimism over cynicism. It is my belief that optimists have more fun because they choose to see the glass half full. And by making slightly more positive choices in our everyday lives, we will attract more positive results.

12. Unplug. Spend more time in nature.  Taking a half hour walk outdoors may just be the antidote you need for decompressing, reducing anxiety levels, increasing your quality of sleep and boosting your mood. 

13. Keep it simple.  Minimalism is trendy – and with good reason. The less we own, the less we realize we need in order to get by. It’s a simplistic and empowering concept – and one that doesn’t tug on our purse strings. 

14. Shine your light. The best way to intensify a good mood is to share it. Go out of your way to compliment a friend, buy a coffee for the person behind you in line or tell someone exactly why you love them. It’s almost impossible to make someone else’s day and not have your own made as a result. I dare you to try it.

15. Be open to possibility. Life has its drags and slumps. But more often than not, the reason it does all of that is because we have closed ourselves off to it. When we commit to saying ‘Yes’ a little more often with every passing day, we commit to opening our lives back up to possibility. And we may just end up falling in love with wherever those possibilities take us.

Listen to my LIVE Radio Interview on ABMFM: (Click Below)

NOT Today.

Not today.

I have always been a believer of setting an intention for your day to keep you focused and grounded on the positive, as well as recording what you are grateful for each night.  And I still am….although this may seem to put a little bit of a different spin on this practice.

Lately I find myself doing a bit of the reverse and have been setting the intention for myself each day with saying: “Not Today.”

This seems to go against my normal positivity, however I have been finding that it is necessary and helping me keep my sanity when faced with difficult conversations, situations and people…as well as my own thoughts and opinions when my mind wanders to the less positive.

What do I mean? Let me break it down for you.

I get up each morning and say to myself, “Not Today”. This is the answer that could pertain to the following:

•          Will I let someone to treat me rudely?
•          Will I allow for my viewpoint to remain silent?
•          Will I accept the status quo?
•          Will I take a back seat and watch things unfold that I don’t agree with?
•          Will I allow for anyone else to treat me less than I deserve to be treated?
•          Will I let someone walk all over me?
•          Will I over-compromise my own beliefs?
•          Will I allow myself to judge my self-worth against others?
•          Will I accept something that I feel I need more information on?
•          Will I be a witness to something that makes me feel uncomfortable?
•          Will I overcommit myself?
•          Will I feel bad about not reaching a certain goal I have set for myself?

NOPE…NOT Today.  Tomorrow? Sure, maybe I’ll let you push me around tomorrow. But I’m definitely not going to allow for that today. 

It’s like there is this little voice in my head reminding me of the things I don’t want to observe, fall victim to or put up with, and when it goes off, I have this burst of additional strength to speak up for myself and/or take the action that makes the most sense (depending on the situation).

I feel more empowered and ready to face not only potential conflict that may arise, but myself.  I’m more equipped somehow to hold myself accountable to the goals I set such as working out, drinking more water than I ever thought I could, or something as simply not allowing a day to go by without telling someone I love them.  When I find myself hinting toward an excuse to not do something I set out to do, I say, “not today” and make sure I tackle it head on, and smash it.

The result: I am happier. I am accomplishing more goals. I am not dwelling on the would-haves, could-haves or should-haves. I am looking back on the “I dids” instead and feeling more confident tackling whatever else may come my way.  And others may learn that I'm not going to put up with their shenanigans without out least saying something about it. 

Are you up for giving it a try? If so—let me know how your “not today” goes! I'd love to hear from you!

Xo

Gina

Decompress, Recharge & Take Care of YOU This Summer

Summer is here. And for many of us it’s a time of vacations, a time of being free from school or a slow time at work or in your business. It is synonymous with relaxation and taking a break.  Often times this mentality can also cause unnecessary pressure and stress due to the expectations that everyone is going on a vacation or you are going to blink and the summer will be over with nothing to show for it. 

Now is a good time to focus on taking care of you.  It’s time to unwind, decompress and to recharge. Here are some tips on how to accomplish just that.

Just watch the clouds go by.

It is so easy to get stuck in the mindset that you have to do something pretty much all the time. This can add a lot of unnecessary stress. Why not change things up a bit and try doing nothing at all from time to time this summer.

Just go for a walk in the woods. Sit by the ocean and take it all in. Or lie down in the grass and just watch the clouds go by.

Do only that, savor the moments of summer and feel how the inner tensions flow out of your body and mind.

Disconnect.

Don’t go online unless it’s necessary. Try to check your emails once a day. Leave your smartphone at home while you are out in the sun enjoying a book.

You may find that you haven’t missed much by not being available all the time. And discover that your stress levels have dropped quite a bit and it feels easier to fully focus on your family, friends and the moments that you are spending making memories.

Half of 2018 has now gone by and it’s easy to get stuck on focusing on what went wrong or on your own setbacks or mistakes. So take a break from that. Try flipping it around and ask yourself: What can I appreciate about what I did and I accomplished during these 6 months?

It doesn’t always have to be big things. And be sure to appreciate what you did, the effort you put in even if things didn’t go exactly as planned.

Slow it down.

This will also dial your stress down. And, perhaps even more importantly, help you to be in the moment and to fully enjoy all the sights, sounds, smells and people of your summer. Instead of being lost in a memory while life and perhaps something really wonderful is happening right in front of you. In other words…be fully present.

Say no to the ‘shoulds’ of summer.

There are sneaky shoulds in life. They can make a vacation filled with things you “just have to do before the summer is over “and they’ll leave you more tired than you were before your time off even started.  Avoid them and you may find that it makes it easier to simply relax and to say no to doing something because you realize that it just isn’t that important anyway, just to be able to say you did it.

Spend more time doing what you love.

Maybe it’s hanging out at a marina with friends. Or reading books. Or playing with your kids or hanging out with an old friend by a fire.

No matter what it might be, think about how you can fit more of what you love doing into not only your summer, but the rest of your 2018. Think about what you spend your time on during a normal week.

Then find 1-2 things during your regular weeks that you can spend less time on. Or things you can simply say no to so that you have a bit more time and energy over each week during the summer, fall and winter for what you love doing.

Saying Goodbye to 'A Girl's Best Friend'

Saying goodbye to “A Girl’s Best Friend”

Today we had to make one of the hardest decisions anyone must make that has a pet-to allow them to pass without suffering anymore.  Our boxer Logan was the sweetest, gentlest and kindest soul.  I feel I need to acknowledge him in some way because what I may have taken for granted is the fact that he was my absolute source of unconditional love.  I am writing this because I feel I need to memorialize my feelings. 

We adopted Logan when he was 5 years old from a family that was moving and looking to give him to a family that would give him a good life.  I never grew up with pets and when we adopted Logan, we had already had our smaller dog, Harley, a puggle.  I thought that was more than enough for me at the time.  However, my husband had always wanted a Boxer and when I received a text that a family was looking for a home for their Boxer, and then the picture came through, there was just something about him.  I had to show my husband and I somehow became open to the fact of possibly owning two dogs.  We met him soon after and Logan immediately had an effect on us and I immediately had a soft spot for him.  He quickly became a member of our family. He quickly became my best friend.

I feel that he came to us during a time in our life where things were stressful, also joyful and completely crazy-insane!  No matter what we were going through as a family, he was our silent support.  What I am now realizing is that he was not only my constant shadow, following me around the house, no matter what I was doing-getting dressed, working, cooking-he was always right there by my side.  He is the only one I feel in this house that loved me completely unconditionally. This is going to be one of the hardest things about losing him.

He didn’t care if I was happy, sad, stressed or moody.  He didn’t care if I looked a complete mess, he loved me regardless.  He didn’t care if all he had to do was sit with me in silence.  It’s like he knew what I was thinking and didn’t judge me.  We vibed on one another’s vibes. I felt he knew what I thinking or how I was feeling by just giving me this 'look' he had.

I never had to worry about him wanting to spend time with me.  That’s the amazingness about pets, they love you and want to be with you no matter what.  They don’t care how you look, (thank goodness) or what you have or don’t have—they just love your soul and the true being you are.  They understand your energy at any given moment and adapt to it, letting you know they are there. Sure, I would tell him many times to stop following me and just to relax and go lay down. Sure, I would tell him to just let me take a shower in peace. Those are the moments I am now going to miss the most.  He knew me—ME. The real me and loved me anyway.

With him around I always felt safe. I was never truly alone, and I am going to miss that feeling of safety. 

He was part of our family for 6 years, not nearly long enough but we were blessed to have even been able to have him be a part of our lives.  It seems he aged so fast and literally over a month’s time.  He was almost 11.  Time flies fast and this serves as a reminder that time is passing, it is always passing, and we need to do whatever we can to slow it down and enjoy the moments in time that we will look back on and remember as the more meaningful ones.

So, Logan, I am truly thankful for having you in my life. I hope you will keep an eye on us from your side of the rainbow bridge.

Thank you for your unwavering and unconditional love. Thank you for being my non-judgmental shadow and confidant.  Thank you for being you.  I love you and am going to miss you terribly kiddo.

You were truly this girl’s best friend.

Boston Voyager Magazine Interview for Boston's Most Inspiring Stories

Honored to be nominated and interviewed for

 Boston Voyager Magazine! 

Boston's Most Inspiring Stories

If you ever wanted to know more about me and what I do, 

this article captures 'me' very well! 

Read Full Article Here!

Change the Game

Change the Game

What you can do when you feel like giving up!

“It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.”

William Shakespeare

Some days are light, fun and filled with inspiration. Some days are just routine. And on some days, you may feel like just giving up on…

 Your new habit of working out or eating healthier.

 Your own small business or blog because you haven’t had the results you expected or wanted.

 Dating because you can’t seem to find the right person or maybe even have a good date at all.

When you find yourself in these predicaments and feel like just giving up and throwing in the towel…don’t.  It’s what you do in these circumstances that will determine a lot about where your life will go. 

Here are some tips on how to deal with those days and change the game.

1. Keep it Real.

If you read no further than this, it’s ok as this one is SUPER important.

Usually if something sounds too good to be true, it is.  Make sure you have realistic expectations.  Allow for mistakes and failure.  Heck even allow for the disappointment.  It’s ok to be cautiously optimistic.

It’s totally acceptable to have hope, keep the faith and believe that things are going to go your way, but when you keep it real, you are safeguarding yourself from letdown.  You are also preparing for a plan B in the event things don’t go as expected and sometimes, that journey leads you to an even better destination. 

2. Remember your WHY.

It’s easy to lose the big picture in our busy everyday lives. If you feel like giving up, try reconnecting with why you are doing what you are doing in the first place.

Is it to: 

 Support and keep your family safe.

 Live healthier and longer so you get to watch your kids grow up.

 See the world and explore new things.

Write down your why. Then, whenever you feel like giving up pull out that piece of paper with your most powerful why(s). It often helps.

3. Remember: The light will shine through the darkness.

This thought has helped me to hold on when things have felt very difficult and I felt like giving up. I have found it to be true.

When you find yourself at that low point it will force you to change something in how you do things.

But life seems to also always have some kind of balance if you can just keep going. Try to keep taking action instead of giving up-when we keep pushing through, this is when the magic usually happens.

4. It’s ok to readjust or change the path.

When you run into a plateau or a longer rough patch try to learn more, and course correct. Reconnect with the basics and examine how you do things.  Be honest with yourself and admit to what isn’t working.  Try replacing those things and see if things work better, even if it means you have to step out of your comfort zone. 

5. Try something different or something else.

Sometimes it is not time to give up. But it may be time to quit what you are doing and to try something else.

If you feel like giving up or you are bored a lot, if you feel no real passion or excitement on your current path, then ask yourself these two questions:

 Am doing this because I truly want it?

 Or am I doing it because someone told me to or because so many people around me seem to have done it or are working on it?

What you want isn’t easy to know before you get started though. You may need to try different paths before you find one that fits you. For instance, just because everyone around you seems to love yoga or running, doesn’t mean that you have to love it or that you have to give up on the habit of regular exercise that works better for you. Try a new way of doing what you want and see if it is a better fit and more enjoyable for you.

Stop the negative self-talk and realize that you are your own worst critic.  Don’t expect to be in a judgement-free zone if you are constantly judging yourself and that bar you have set so high for yourself is stressing you out! 

It’s time to change the game and show yourself some love. 

xo,

Gina

Smoke & Mirrors

It’s really hard to put yourself out there.  Like really, really hard. You open yourself up to judgement, scrutiny, assumptions and expectations.  But on the flip side, you also allow yourself to be open to love, support, personal growth, and hopefully, making an impact.  It is definitely a balance that you pray leans in your favor. 

I have experienced love and support and it has come from the most unexpected places.

This has been the most special and humbling part of putting myself out there, not realizing how much you are supported by those you never knew were even paying attention to you! And not to mention also feeling the love from complete strangers.

Honestly though, this isn’t all about rainbows and unicorns.  Of course, everything you see on social media looks great and perfect most of the time. It’s mostly smoke and mirrors.  We often portray the illusion that we all have our sh*t together. 

I know that it may appear on the surface that I know what I am doing. It may seem as though I had all this extra time on my hands to sit around and write a book (or two, yes, I ended up writing two).  Unfortunately, that isn’t really the case or premise under which this book was born, and I feel that it is important to share just a little snippet of my backstory -what is behind all the smoke and mirrors, so that anyone who reads this will understand my ‘why'.

For over the last three years, I have been a completely stressed out for a ton of different reasons.  I am not going to talk about those reasons because I don’t want to open myself up that much right now.  Just know that things are not what they seem all the time from what is portrayed by me on social media.  Some of us do a really good job of putting on a smile and refocusing when the world around us feels like it is filled with dark clouds, obstacles constantly in the way, and completely against us.  The amount of stress some of us live and face is unbearable and while there is always someone going through a worse hell, your own hell is what can consume you. 

This has been my life for a while. I have been consumed by things beyond my control. I have had a choice everyday to let it win, or I could do everything in my power to keep fighting the good fight—and there have been many. There have been countless days when I would want to throw in the towel, curl up with a neat whiskey, and raise up the white flag-but somehow, I didn’t.  I decided I was going to take control in any way I could and fight back. I was going to fight for the ‘B’ that is ME.

I had an ah ha! moment one night in early November and realized that I needed an outlet, and that very night, I finally started to write. I needed a distraction and something to focus my energy on and writing proved to be incredibly therapeutic.  I am not even a writer, had no idea what I was doing, but it just flowed. So much so that I ended up writing a second book.  For myself, this was a labor of love and a means to keep my sanity and have something to look forward to. It became my light. I looked forward to holding onto my own sanity and identity each time my fingers typed. 

And it’s true, I didn’t tell a single soul that I was writing because firstly, I didn’t actually know if I would get anywhere with it once I was finished, and secondly, I wanted to do it for me without the added stress of the opinions of what I should or shouldn’t be writing about. And here we are….

This is why when I put myself out there and can feel the love back, I am truly humbled and feeding off of that love right now.  It’s been my baby and my light, and I thank you for shining it back so brightly. I started to feel a little twinge of guilt like I shouldn’t be so excited and happy, anyone can write a book—but then came to my senses and am owning the fact that this is my accomplishment I can look back on, right in this very moment even.

I can say I did it. And I did it for me. I will take my own advice and allow myself to relish in it and have something to be excited about and look forward to right now.  I can feel some of the smoke dissipating and the light is starting to shine through and reflect onto me.  

Xo

Gina

SELFish AF

Oh...did you think the 'AF' meant something else?! I won't lie, I feel that is the ultimate goal here, to be SELFish AF and love your whole self without reservation or guilt. We will get there with the right mindset and Focus. For right now let's have the F stand for FOCUSED for the time being.

If living for others and focusing on someone else’s needs before your own is selfless and good, then why is focusing on ourselves usually considered selfish and bad?

When we place focus on our own self, improvement, love, worth and personal development, we ultimately become happier and more positive. This fosters a stronger and more compassionate spirit, the striving to be a become a better person. It is not selfish because bringing out the best of your Self will certainly benefit friends, family members and all of those whom you love and encounter.

It’s important to be SELFish And Focused because when we are happy, those around us are influenced to feel happiness. When we are positive and tranquil, those around us will feel more positive and tranquil, too. When we strive every day to bring out the best of ourselves, others around us necessarily benefit. In this way, focusing on ourselves is not selfish; we actually serve to better ourselves on behalf of others.

Stay Selfishly focused and let go of the guilt…

The definition of selfishness is to be more concerned with our own interests, needs, and wishes while explicitly ignoring those of others. Being selfish means that you show that your personal needs and wishes are thought to be more important than those of other people. To be primarily self-concerned is to necessarily neglect others. But by these definitions, couldn’t striving to better ourselves through introspection and inner growth be considered selfish, as well?

Am I endorsing people to be more selfish? Nope…

When we selfishly focus on ourselves with the goal of becoming a better person, we are not acting selfishly so long as the betterment of who we are on the inside will benefit those around us, from our families and friends to coworkers and strangers we encounter every day.

There is a connectedness between how our mood and actions can influence the mood and actions of others. When we are on our inner journey to improve our Self– we can actually come to improve the lives of those around us because more compassionate, happier, and positive people have a direct influence on everyone he or she encounters and interacts with.

Improving Our Self is Improving Our Health

An equivalent of self-improvement and personal development through which one strives to better the Self in an unselfish way is focusing on your own health through exercise, eating well and self-care activities. I am pretty sure that very few of us would ever consider exercising, eating healthily or taking a nice hot bath as selfish acts, and yet they place deliberate focus and attention upon one’s Self.

Improving our inner selves necessarily benefits those around us, too. If we live healthier lifestyles, we are lengthening our lives not only for ourselves but for our families and friends and all of those around us.

Showing concern for our self over others is selfish. But when we strive to become happier and more positive, work to foster a stronger and more compassionate spirit and become better people, we explicitly place attention on the development of ourselves for the benefit of those around us.

In this way, we focus on ourselves without being selfish, because bringing out the best of us is what’s best for others.

So, I invite you to join the rest of us that are on a mission to be more selfish and finally free ourselves from the stigma that is associated with that philosophy.

Who’s with me?