Find Your Square

I give up.

Perfection is overrated.

I am not perfect and have finally given up on striving for perfection.  Maybe this has something to do with now being a solid year ahead of my forties and having a new perspective on the importance of certain things in my life, I don’t know.  I do know that I have always been a Type A personality. No matter what I was working on albeit myself, career, raising three boys, etc. I was striving for perfection. 

I’ve never been competitive with others but have always been trying to ‘one- up’ myself.  That alone can become exhausting and the stress of achieving that level of perfection can really do a number on you and wear you down. 

I am always advising others to bolt out of toxic relationships with their partners, but why not follow my own advice and get out of the toxicity with myself?!

So, starting today, I have made the commitment to myself to do just that.  I have ‘given up’.  I’ve risen the white flag and the towel has been thrown in the ring. 

I have realized that perfection is the enemy and that “close enough” is more than ok and in a lot of aspects much healthier and even more fun!  We are constantly evolving and that’s completely how it is supposed to be right?  Once I let the idea of perfection go, I also felt the burden of being enough go as well.  It is a much less stressful space to be in.

When you strive for perfection you remain in your comfort zone.  You worry about what others will think.  Do you look ok? Was your presentation ok? Did you meet their expectations?

Were you enough?  

Probably not.  And that’s ok because it’s actually a better spot to be in.  It leaves room for dialogue, conversation and opportunity for so much more growth.  It helps you evolve into the best version of yourself which is wonderfully flawed and imperfect.

Know this.  You deserve a place in their circle and if you are misjudged, you go and find a new circle—or even better find your square. Our lives and strife’s are ours and ours alone to define.  We need to let go of what we are working against and stick to our true north.  We need to stop letting someone else dictate if we are too much or too little of something to suit them. Instead focus on what suits you.

Each one of us is evolving and each one of us is SO worth it. 

Speaking of evolving, you may notice that I have a new logo. I feel this represents the evolution of me and my practice.  For me the crescent moon in it’s first phase represents that there are so many stages of growth we navigate through in our lives, if you need me, I will help guide you through them. The lines shooting from the moon signify that your potential is unharnessed, and the sky is the limit.  Overall, I understand it represents a crown, and believe that if we all practice a little more self-love and ‘selfishness’ that we will truly be crowned with the blessings we deserve and owning each and every one of them. And yes, for those of you that have been with me from the beginning, the logo also has an overall celestial vibe to represent my intuitive insight…and a few new things I will be adding to my services soon! Stay tuned.

Holiday Self Care Challenge! Simple Ways to Take Care of yourSELF During the Holidays...and beyond.

Simple Ways to Take Care of YourSELF During the Holidays.

Most of us are in the throes of the season. With that unfortunately is us getting sick and feeling rundown due to the expectations and pressures that we put on ourselves to create the “best holiday ever”.  Unfortunately, the stress that comes with this magical time of year seems to be accepted by many and par for the course.

Tis the season to socialize more, spend more, do more, eat more, and sleep LESS. If taking care of yourself doesn’t come naturally, and you still insist on putting everything else before your own needs, you probably go into over-serving mode during the holidays. You go out of your way to make sure everything is ready, and neglect taking time out to care for yourself. Does this sound like you?

If you fall into this mode, or if you are just in need of some extra good TLC during this time, try one of these simple ways to take care of you during the holidays...and into 2018.

1. morning routine
If every day, you make a little time for yourself first thing, you can move through your day with more grace and intention. Your morning routine might only be 5 minutes long to start, but even that will help. Use the time to sit quietly with a cup of tea, meditate, journal, walk, or include other activities that feed your body, mind, heart, and soul.

2. candlelight
I love listening to music with candles burning or just sitting quietly in candlelight. As the days get darker, add light to your day.

3. take a walk
Go outside and take a walk. Bundle up if it’s cold and head out with the intention of noticing the magic of the season. Don’t worry about burning calories or tracking your activity, just enjoy yourself and the moment.

4. respect your budget
Once you figure out what you can spend on extras like holiday gifts, events, and other holiday things, honor that. If you splurge now, you pay even more later. And later comes sooner than you think. Why not invite those you usually exchange with to spend quality time versus gift giving. It eliminates the stress of what to buy and provides memories that will be priceless.

5. indulge and eat well
Indulge in your favorite holiday treats, but keep a balance by eating well during 85-90% of the time. Don’t eat the treats you don’t really care about just because it’s there, and savor the first few bites of your indulgences. It’s ok to give it all a try in smaller portion sizes and enjoy without the guilt.

6. live without a schedule
Make room for holiday magic to unfold and cancel some of your planned activities.

7. nap
Give your body and brain a chance to recharge on those go-go-go holiday marathon days. Even 15 minutes can make a big difference.

8. get lost in a book
Unplug. Close your computer and other digital devices and curl up with a good book. Instead of reading something for self-improvement or work, read something for your heart and escape into a good read.

9. laugh
Call or spend time with those that make you laugh harder than anyone else. Then laugh until you cry.

10. find the blessings in your messes
For some reason we really like to beat ourselves up at the end of the year for all that we’ve done and left undone. Sometimes it takes a big, heart wrenching mess to wake us up, to inspire change, and to finally release us from the guilt of getting there in the first place. Understand the lessons and the blessings and move forward.

11. forgive
It’s not too late. Your forgiveness will not only heal their hearts, it will heal yours.   P.S. You don’t need an apology to forgive someone.

12. be grateful
Directing more of our attention towards gratitude for the things that make our lives wonderful are scientifically proven to make us healthier, more energetic, less stressed and anxious, and help us get better sleep.

13. say goodbye to guilt
Usually guilt is not guilt at all, but instead it’s sadness that you couldn’t do more to help, disappointment that you didn’t achieve something you set out to do, or anger because you said “yes” to something that deserved a “no”. Let that go.

14. give
There are so many opportunities to give, so many people and organizations in need. Pick something close to heart and give the way you want to give instead of how you think you are supposed to give.

15. make something
Be creative. Write a poem, start a book, draw or paint, and express yourself. Make. Create. Enjoy the process with no expectations.

16. breathe
Frustrated? Breathe in. Breathe out. Worried? Breathe in. Breathe out. Overwhelmed? Breathe in. Breathe out. Confused? Breathe in. Breathe out. Exhausted? Breathe in. Breathe out. Start there and you can often avoid over-thinking and over-reacting.

17. let go
There are benefits to moving through life, work, and relationships with a lighter step, a lighter look, and a lighter heart. If we want to be light, we have to let go of what is weighing us down.

18. stop and drop
If you’ve already overdone it, consider a full stop. Sometimes backing off isn’t enough. Take a whole day to yourself and vow to do nothing more than take care of yourself all day long.

I hope that you will take care of yourself over the holidays. It’s the best gift you can give yourself and everyone you love.

Happy Holidays to You and Yours!

Xo

Gina

Time to Level Up!

How many of us go through life wondering do we belong here? Who genuinely loves and cares about us? Who is in our inner circle? Who will miss us when we are gone? Yes, this post is off to quite the start, but I must share, these are all the thoughts that have been in my mind recently. I fully admit that I wanted to keep it a secret that I was turning 40 last month, yet at the same time felt myself telling everyone?!  I don't know why, but I did. Holy confusing I know. Am I OK with it or not? It's time to make up my mind--so I decided it is time to embrace it and level up.

I would like to equate it to feeling like I hit a new level in my life. A whole new level of my life, that I will navigate using my prior learned lessons. I was (ah hemmm still am) sad to kiss my 30s good bye, but at the same time I feel like if I take a step back and observe my own life from the outside, it's kind of like wondering what the next season will bring.  Just like a television series, there is the wonder of excitement, the unknown that sparks intrigue yet also some fear.  Each year and each decade if we look back, we often realize that major life shifts have happened. We have navigated through the storms, the trials and tribulations but if we are lucky enough, we have loved harder, danced longer, laughed crazier and enjoyed all those other precious moments in between.  

For me, this new decade of turning 40 is truly about leveling up. I vow to focus on the simple and sacred moments that money can't buy.  Because just like any series you watch, you just never know when your favorite character will be off the show, or if new characters come into focus for you to get to know, or even if the entire series has an unexpected series finale.  I want to make sure I experience each moment purposefully.

One of those moments happened for me during my 40th birthday evening with my closest family and friends.  At the party, everyone was handed a white illuminated balloon and each of us tied a wish for ourselves to it.  We released them into the night sky at the same time.  It was a magical moment.  What was also magical was most of my family and friends came up to me afterwards and hugged me, wished me a happy birthday and told me in various ways how much they loved me and how much I have helped them in their lives.  Some even told me that they wouldn't be where they are today if it were not for me and my guidance.

It's ironic because as a little girl, I was always conflicted.  I possessed wisdom beyond my years but didn't understand how I could have the knowledge that I did.  I’ve come a long way since then. It’s not that I didn’t feel loved and cared about before this party, but this night was for ME, my family and friends came to celebrate ME.  The love that I felt surrounding me was a really nice affirmation, that only reconfirms I do belong here and serve a concrete purpose for those in my life. It was the perfect springboard into the next level of my life.

With that being said, I have been thinking a lot about my work advising others. I am leveling up my practice to encompass the more seasoned and confident me.  I have years and thousands of hours of client service behind me.  Experience and time is an extraordinary teacher and I am ready to expand my wisdom.   I have leveled up my own personal growth and know without a doubt that I am living my purpose and concretely help people find and live theirs.  I am ready to live my truth and pass that truth onto others.

I am excited to officially launch my new website www.ginaclapprood.com! I hope you will visit me there for more information, inspiration and motivation on how I can support you in designing the life that you want. Subscribe to stay in the know on all promotions, workshops and events. (There just may be a little something for you too if you do!)

If you are ready to truly participate in your own life and live each moment for you, level up with me!  I will help guide you to style the life you want, the life you desire, and even more important, the one you deserve.  

You deserve to live a life that is styled for you...by me.

Let’s do it!

Xo,

Gina

Oh Hey There 40...I'm Ready for Ya!

So this is it…(dramatic pause here)…the last day of my 30s.  I know that sounds dramatic but I feel like I have learned so much just in this year alone that it’s important to me to document it somehow.  Forty is coming at me fast and furious, part of me is ready, part of me is in denial, and part of me has a half pint left of Ben and Jerry’s Urban Bourbon sitting in my freezer on standby when I’m ready to eat my feelings.  

Anywho, so now I guess it’s time for me to become an adult, a legit, forty-something. I guess now I am supposed to be wiser and more seasoned on certain topics, right?  However, somehow I still feel like I am a twenty-something which makes no sense because I have no interest in going back to my twenties. I must be getting older because I never thought I would say that. Like EVER. I am at the stage in my life where I am looking back and can say that I am so different than who I was at this point ten years ago entering my 30s, and I am actually proud of the person I’m becoming.  

I do feel that as I look back I am trying hard to remember what I have learned over the last 39 years and 364 days.  The ah-ha! Moments, the ups, the downs, and hard life lessons.  At the end of the day, the biggest lesson is: It shouldn’t really matter-just live your life to the fullest and be happy.  I am pretty sure everyone has these moments at some point or another. What matters is what you do about them, take from them and learn from them.

So here is a list of 40 things I have learned along the way about life and/or myself. Maybe you already know all of the things on my list or maybe I can help you to pick up a few new facts before your next birthday.

1. There are not going to be 40 things on this list.  Who has time to read through 40 things?! Not this girl. I don’t even know if I would have 40 things to list here. And 10 years ago, that would have been what I would do, I would have listed 30 things and it would have been all cute and completely predictable of me. 

This almost 40-something has learned that I would much rather not go with the status quo lately.  Do what may be a little unexpected, break the mold, try to be full of surprises.  So maybe I’ll end up listing 8, 19, 34 or 20 things—doesn’t matter. Learn that you don’t need a plan, and wing it sometimes.  I have always had a Plan A, and then a Plan B, and a Plan C on standby.  Now, I am trying to just go with the flow as much as I can.  This has been a hard one for me, especially being a Virgo—but it has been an important one and if you read no further I’m ok with that because I feel that strongly about this one.  

2. Just as important, (and thank you for continuing to read on) your eyebrows really shape your face.  I learned that the hard way when I “accidentally” removed the inner halves of mine when I was like 12.  It wasn’t a good look on me.  Take care of those arches ladies (and gents). It’s one of the first things I notice and I can’t help it.  Guilty as charged. 

3. Growing up my grandmother would always say, “Little girls should be seen and not heard”.  So that’s pretty much how I grew up, kept to myself, observed and listened…until something clicked and I realized that wasn’t me—I should be SEEN and HEARD.  I mean there is a way to do this appropriately, so I suggest when you are seen and heard you do so with class.  Class is important.

4. Speaking of class…you either have it or you don’t. There is no in between.

5. Smile when you feel sad and know that it’s ok to ask for a hug. Try it right now, if you make the biggest smile you can, you will automatically feel happier.  If you are lucky enough to have someone to hug you—really hug you tight and hang there for a few moments—that feeling alone can melt the sadness away.  I can always go for a hug like that. (tomorrow would be a REALLY good day for a hug)

6. I need a lot of different shampoos. NEED not want. That’s just the way it is.  Bad hair day…blame the shampoo of the day.   Switching it up is a good thing…on the daily. My husband doesn’t call me Medusa for nothing, sometimes I put extra bottles in there just to mess with him.

7. I am not a good cook.  I tried. I can try harder. I need to make the time to cook and when I actually do I can be semi-good at it.  But it’s not my forte and I will accept it.

8. This brings me to meal prep.  It’s impossible in my house.  Can’t happen, my savages eat all my food, healthy or not.  So, spending time prepping for the week here just translates to how much can I prepare so that these little animals can eat it all in less than 4 hours.  Not for me.  

9. Hairspray.  I can’t live without it.  Not in a Teresa Caputo way, but if I am going to have any style to my hair—it needs to be held with the spray.  Don’t judge. 

10. Lipstick.  Need I say more? You can never have too many. Don’t leave the house without any on.  Even if it’s a clear gloss, I always have something on.  OK? OK.

11. Amazon Prime Membership is totally worth it.  It can be dangerous, but totally worth it and saves a bunch of time.  

12. You will reevaluate relationships every so often.  There are people that we cross paths with for a reason, a season and for a lifetime.  They will enter your life at different times and you may be surprised just who your absolute true friends are.  When you do, let them know how much you love them and care about them.  If it’s consistently not reciprocated, you will know it’s time to place your energies elsewhere. 

13. Just say the real reason, if you can, that you may need to cancel plans with someone.  Don’t give a lame excuse.  I would rather hear you are broke, don’t feel like it because you had a long day, don’t want to see me, don’t like me anymore, whatever, than get some reason that is obviously not the reason you are canceling.  

14. Read as much as you can. Whatever you want to read, just keep your brain sharp, escape in a book, and learn something new.  I’ve recently started reading again and it’s become my escape and it’s a feeling of accomplishment when you finish a book and can feel the impact it has made on you.  

15. I am not a politically charged person.  I may pay attention, but I will respect your choices no matter what side you are on. Everyone has a right to their opinion. I’ll leave that one there.

16. Whiskey.  Who knew? I used to drink Midori Sours! Ten years ago I never would have thought I would be drinking whiskey when I loved my sugary drinks. And now I love me a good whiskey.  I love the warmth of it and the benefits. Don’t know what they are? Google them…stat! You. Are. Welcome.

17. If you want something, ask for it.  Don’t think that you can’t, don’t hint because people usually don’t pick up on the hints.  Just put it out there. Straight. 

 18. Get a bra fitting. If your bra fits you right, you will see and feel the difference.  After three kids….you can trust me on this one. 

19. Don’t think every new trend and style is for you. If you don’t love the way you look in something and feel you just look “ok” don’t buy it.  Also ask yourself if something is too trendy or if the piece is something classic enough where you will get your wear out of it for many seasons.  Trust me on this. I decluttered and was sick to my stomach when I saw all the trendy clothes that I put in the donation pile. It feels good to donate though but think about your purchases first and ten years from now. 

20. Learn how to say no, let go and let it flow.  Ditch the whole idea of being perfect.  You will disappoint others, yourself included.  It’s normal and part of life. It’s how we learn.  But it’s important to stay true to yourself and do what is right for you-so if saying no to something is what fits best with your desires-by all means do it.  

21. Do not over commit and under deliver. Just don’t. It’s so much better to just say no and leave it at that.

22. If you are thinking of doing something nice for someone-do it.  Don’t OVERDO it. So many times I used to see something that would remind me of someone and want to buy it or mention it, and didn’t because I didn’t want to seem like I was being “too nice” or whatever it may be seen as. These days, if you cross my mind and I see something I will let you know, because life is just too short to not show you I care.

23. Let your kids splash in the puddles after the rain.  (My sister will just love this one) Live vicariously through them with a little bit of reckless abandon.  That kind of happiness is so good for the soul, for them and for you.  

24. Don’t compare your life to anyone else’s.  I can assure you that what you think isn’t always the case about someone almost 100% of the time. Trust me on this. I am the keeper of a lot of secrets and I can attest to this for many of my clients. Life isn’t always what you think it’s like for someone on the outside as it is for them on the inside.

25. Don’t assume. Don’t.  What we create in our heads will destroy us.  Ask questions, communicate with each other and get the FACTS.  Much conflict in relationships can be avoided and resolved if we can eliminate our assumptions about what the other is thinking, doing, why they are not responding back, etc. It’s too vicious of a cycle.

26. Don’t rely on all these popular inspirational books.  I read them myself but I feel it is important to listen to your own inner voice.  Learn what it is that inspires you. Your OWN story.  What is your story? Write that versus reading someone else’s.  

27. Life is hard.  It will challenge you, break you, build you back up.  It’s a roller coaster ride for sure.  It’s up to you to figure out what makes you happy. Live your own moments and relish in the small moments. Someday you may look back and realize they were the big moments. This is the hardest part for me about turning 40, it’s not the whole aging thing or any of that, despite my references to lipstick and shampoo above.  For me, it is that I don’t want to miss those moments that are yet to come. Life IS short, every day isn’t guaranteed and each day we wake up we should remind ourselves of that. (Put the lipstick on though just to be safe)

So, we will leave it there at 27 things. Deep breath, I am smiling because I feel a little sad, I need a hug but I’ve got this. Oh and one more thing…

28. I have learned that you can have TONS of class and drop and F bomb every now and then and it feels really good when you do. (You know you want to drop one right now just because)

And so with that… I’ll accept this and say Eff it…Hey 40! I'm Ready for Ya! Let's do this! (Let me just finish my Urban Bourbon first)

Xo, Gina

Significant as the 'G' in Gina

Recently what has been coming up for me is the sense of feeling insignificant, despite my attempts to take care of myself and put myself first.

I posted something the other day that said, “Today I am going to be as useless as the ‘G’ in Lasagna”. That’s actually what prompted me to think about this post and write about how I was feeling. I am certainly not feeling useless.  But can identify with that insignificant ‘G’ in lasagna.  It’s like the ‘I’ in Gina. Not really necessary but makes the word look a lot better.  Or on the flip-side, there are the a$$holes that will tease me and call me G (long I sound) na-knowing how much I hate it. Then by all means that letter's gots- to- go.

Anywho....back to the G. Who the hell am I? Why am I feeling insignificant? I mean I know I have the peeps that love me, care about me—who are my PEOPLE.  The ones that really want to see me, spend time with me, and listen to what I have to say and not rush through our time together. 

Not sure.  I try to make plans and it’s like everyone is busy—too busy—sure, I’m busy too-but I always give a plan B and follow through.

This feeling has come up at different times in my life –I am pretty sure it’s coming up now because I am coming up on my birthday and per usual, reevaluating the last ten years and gearing up for the next ten. Wanting to hold on to the people around me because I feel like life is so short we never know what the next day will bring.  So morbid I know, but true.

So, here’s a little story. The other night I was talking about hearing that Ben and Jerry’s came out with a new flavor of ice cream. Urban Bourbon.  For this Whiskey Girl-say no more! I need to find it and of course can’t find it anywhere! I was telling my husband how I have been everywhere on a mission to find it and have had no luck. It was just a passing conversation, but an hour later, my eleven-year-old son, Josh, came inside from playing and came up to me to tell me that he was Googling places to see where Urban Bourbon was being sold.  

This kid HEARD me. He was paying attention to me. I am NOT insignificant to him.  It was important to him to try to help me find it and I can’t even tell you how my heart could have burst in a million pieces at that moment.  

And in that moment, it hit me…smacked me right in my gut. I needed to call myself out and realize that this feeling of whatever the hell I was feeling is -

Bullshit.

I’m not insignificant. No one can make me insignificant – or feel insignificant – except for me.

It’s true. It’s not anyone’s responsibility to make me feel more important.  It’s mine – and mine alone. I mean a little love from you would be helpful—but it all stems from me and my perception.

If I’m feeling invisible, it’s not because others aren’t seeing me. It’s because I’m not seeing me. I am allowing others to make me feel the way I am feeling versus letting them know that I miss them, want to see them, spend time with them.  Or I need to let them go.

I am not going to become invisible to myself. I am certainly not invisible to my son who was paying attention to the little details of my conversation last night.

I become significant by seeing myself. All of me-the good, the bad(ass), and the ugly – the joy and the pain, the laughter and tears.  The real me. 

When I see me, others see me.

When I see me, it doesn’t matter if others see me.

So, I will strive see myself as significant as the G in Gina.

(And I AM going to find that pint of Urban Bourbon)

Xo

Gina

"I Got You"

"I Got You"

I've always been, and still am very much a "good girl" but...no longer at the
sacrifice of mySELF. This year, my 39th (gulp!) year, I declared I would own it. Well, that hasn't gone exactly as I had planned and that’s OK. I am growing and learning and I can absolutely feel myself transitioning from a “good girl” into the “free woman” I need to be to take on the next chapter of my life.

I started putting out this term on my page "SELFish B" (I mean, I don’t know if I started it…but I’ve been using it A LOT as it resonates with me. I am even launching a workshop around the concept so…there you go) The whole premise is to love yourSELF (with SELF being strongly emphasized). The premise of this is to not feel guilt for putting your needs, wants, and dreams first for a change. For not being “such a good girl” all the time and doing what is expected of you, following all the rules, explaining yourself, saying “I’m sorry” when seriously?! What the hell are you even sorry for? How many times do I say that when it’s just a filler and I am NOT sorry at all. I am not afraid to appropriately (note that I use the word appropriately because I am not saying here that I am going to go off and become a complete rebel or anything) question the status quo if I don’t agree with it. So as I am quickly approaching the next frontier of my life, I am really trying to get myself in a good place about it. I guess you could say, I am growing up… I kind of feel like I am going through some kind of weird second puberty or something for mid-adulthood. Adulting is so freaking hard! It’s confusing as all hell. Lately it seems like everything I once liked or didn’t like has changed. I am so ready to stop the madness and start putting myself first. To not answer to everyone else’s expectations of me that don’t fit with who I am. 

So yeah....I'm ready to be a SELFish B...No guilt. And none needed. Who I want to be…I am becoming…so the question is…now what?

Which brings me to this.  I couldn’t sleep last night and started thinking, I really want my forties to be f*cking amazing. As I sat in bed awake last night I got really sad thinking about my thirties, I felt myself just crack wide open and let my emotions flow.  I didn't feel sad because my thirties are coming to an end, but because I spent so much of them stressed out and worrying. Wishing I was thinner, richer, smarter, etc. Anything to feel that sense of validation—guess what? It never came. I spent much of those years hoping to be liked by others, trying to please others-and now I realize that for some of them, that was just a waste of my time. I mostly overextended myself at my own expense.  Not that what we do is always because we want something back, that isn't what I am saying here at all--but when you are obviously not getting a reciprocal of any sort back in whatever relationship or exchange that is taking place, you have to at some point take a step back and say--yeah, eff this I think I am all set.  I now realize that I was going to be liked whether I tried or not by the right people in my life, regardless. That is precisely how relationships should work--with ease.


So you know what, I realize that the only person I am truly sorry to is me....I apologize to myself, my 30-something year old worried-stressed out-people-pleasing-overachieving-self-criticizing self. And I assured myself this: for the rest of my days..."I Got You"...


As I gear up for the next chapter, I have made some promises to myself:

*I will not deprive myself from genuine love, food, feeling what I want to feel, or bad mindless TV (don't judge)

*I will stick up for myself and I will not be underestimated.

*I will declutter my space and my mind of toxicity.

*I will not compare myself to the illusions posted on my Facebook feed.

*I will take pictures with my kids because they don't nearly have enough.

*I will not over give of myself and set myself up for thankless disappointment.

*I will enjoy time in the present moment and cherish the little intangibles.

*I will love myself. It may not always be a cake walk, but I will unconditionally love me.


Listen, before I know it, I will be writing a post about how (God willing) I will be lying wide awake some night and approaching 50…and I’ll be damned if I am not writing about all the crazy amazing shit I did in my forties! I will have NO regrets and will be overflowing that page if I have anything to say about it.


This SELFish B has bigger and better things to do….and so should YOU.



~Just Keep Clapping

Xo

Gina

Are you GROWING? Tips for Living Up to YOUR Potential

Are you GROWING? I'm not talking about the new heels you bought, I'm asking are you really growing? Like are you mentally growing in your way of thinking, in your friendships, in your work, in your capacity? Are you living up to your full potential every day?  Honestly, I would love to meet someone that can say they do.  I think we can all aim to, but we definitely can strive to, and I believe that is more than half the battle. My goal for this year is to not waste time, clog my mind on pointless flicking of social media and be absolutely intentional about my days-as much as possible.  This is what I plan to do and what I believe will help us grow and live up to our potential (well at least half way) 1: INTENTION Wake up each morning and BE intentional on WHO you spend your time with. Friendships need to serve you both. You need to be happy around your friends and importantly both offer positivity, a little give and take, plenty of trust and mutual support. This is the making of a solid and long lasting friendship. Not only is our time precious and full but we must take a moment to sit, stop and see if the friendships we have around us are best for us now and moving forward. If you are intentional of who you spend time with, your days will be more positive, productive and efficient. 2: PLAN It may sound like a cliché, daunting and boring word, but it really shouldn’t be. Planning ahead whether it is for setting aside time for yourself to exercise, read a book, a date night with your partner, ensures that you are more likely to actually stick to it.  Planning produces consistency and consistency produces results. 3: CHALLENGE What’s the biggest challenge you have this year and how do you go about dealing with it? Don't wait for it to come around, start thinking how it can shape your year. Are you ready to ask for a promotion in your job; would you like to write, time to date more, meet new friends, run a 5K?  Each year we hear of all these new resolutions but what will be your changing gear this year? Let your mind start the process; write it down and get to it! Challenge yourself for the win! 4: EXPANSION Whether we like it or not every year we WILL change. We will grow, it will either be forwards, backwards or sideways. It’s OK if your path looks different than those around you-do not compare the direction they are going in to your own. You are on your own journey in life. You need to go through your own lessons and expansion. 5: NEVER COMPARE Don't allow yourself to scroll social media comparing the life you have with another person. Remember we all put up our show of the best moments of our lives and your time is valuable; its priceless. We all have our own purpose, our course and our own unique names. As the year rolls on promise that you won't let your imagination take over and think of being someone else. Who you are is more than enough and the level of influence you have on others will grow stronger as you keep on the bright road you're meant to travel. I promise you, if you can follow these steps, you will more than reach your potential and inspire others to persevere when attempting to achieve theirs. And as always, remember to #justkeepclapping Xo Gina

Perseverance = Inspiration

Inspiration is something I value and something that I sometimes struggle with. Not only to be an inspiration, especially to my boys and to others when I can, but to be inspired myself. I find myself challenged everyday with trying to achieve my goals; pushing myself, and always looking for ways to improve, versus just being in the moment and being inspired by it. 


Often, we create goals with the best of intentions. At first, we’re super motivated, then unfortunately, somewhere along the way, our shiny inspiration and tasks to achieve our goals become a little overwhelming or difficult to manage. We may falter, stall, fall flat or completely give up.


Sound familiar?

What I am learning is that inspiration can’t be something that we plan. Why? Because when we set goals it may become hard to achieve them, no matter how much we plan for them, what the execution is and especially if those goals rely on the help of others. We need to rely on our own healthy dose of perseverance. Goals can seem daunting and even unattainable without it.


It is our perseverance that becomes the inspiration.


So, if as adults we have difficulty persevering, how do we inspire our kids to stick through it when the going gets tough? How can I make sure I do my part to teach my boys not to give up during trying times?


First we need to make sure we have their full attention. We need to teach our children to persevere when it comes to their goals. Teach them what perseverance means.

This is what I believe it means:

Persevering means we don’t give up even when it’s hard.

We do not let obstacles get in the way of our goal.

We enjoy the journey and do not get discouraged even if it does not go the way we hoped it would.

We need to lead by example. If they see us working hard towards our goals, it will be easier for them to model it themselves one day, or even take our motivating advice when they need it most. As long as they can see that we are learning something new while persevering in a positive way, modeling is a great way to reinforce our message.


We also need to sit back and let ourselves be inspired by our kids.


The young and inspirational minds of our children can spark something inside our adult minds that reminds us to be a little more creative, (just like when we were kids) and take life a little lighter. Parenthood can be tricky but as much as we’re here to teach them, they’re also here to teach us. As parents, we could even say that we persevere through parenthood. Let’s face it, it’s not always easy and it can be really trying at times, but at the end of the day we all have the same goal of raising our children to be the best they can be.


Let’s hope that they keep the cycle going, crush their goals, adapt and adjust where they need to, persevere and inspire others along the way. Applaud themselves and their accomplishments and as always...#justkeepclapping

xo

Gina

Thank YOU for Another Year of Friendship-My Pledge

If you are fortunate enough to have the type of friend that I like to describe as low maintenance, silent, always there for you even though you don’t see one another often, talk on the phone or even text often, but that when you see them, you can feel their love for you. That friend that no matter if you feel like you’re having the worst hair day, feel bloated and like shit, will always tell you how fabulous you look. Go the extra step and even point out and compliment your how your blush lights up your face (you know who you are) or how you are slaying that lip gloss.  Yep-that friend. That genuine I-get-you friendship.  The one you feel that somehow you just don’t deserve. 

Why? Because they are the ones that are there for YOU. The ones that go out of their way to make YOU feel good. To light YOU up, effortlessly, no matter what shit they are constantly dealing with in their own lives, they are wanting to hear about YOUR shit.  They are worried about YOU, not themselves.  They love YOU.  They put YOU before THEM.  Wait…. these friends exist?!  They most certainly do and I am blessed to have some in my inner circle. 

What prompted this post is actually a Christmas card I received in the mail yesterday.  From one of these special friends in my life.  It was what she wrote in the last sentence that struck me and made me shed a few tears and think for a bit about our friendship.  She wrote, “Thank you for another year of your friendship.”  She writes this pretty much on every card she has sent me and for some reason this year it struck me differently.  Maybe because I am getting older and looking at life from a different perspective? Or maybe because I have been having some stressful and shitty days lately that reading that really struck a chord with me. 

Someone is thanking me for being their friend?  When does that ever happen? I feel like I do not deserve her friendship, but I am so blessed and honored to call her my friend.  When is the last time I have thanked my inner circle for being there for me and for another year of their friendship?  After all, we choose our friends, they can drop us like hot potatoes at any time, yet real friends choose not to.  They stick by you through it all.

So I am writing this because I want to make sure that I let my friends know that I am thankful for their friendship.  I also pledge today to try to be a better friend no matter what else I may be wrapped up in at the moment.  

My Pledge: The Friend I Want To Be

I want to be that friend that when I see you, you feel welcomed, accepted and greeted in my presence. That means when I see you, I start with love.  

I want you to feel that you are enough.  More than enough. In fact when you are with me, talking to me, confiding in me, I don’t want you to ever feel insecure or judged in my presence.  I want you to see the best in me and I will always see the best in you.  

I want you to feel celebrated as my friend.  I want to be the friend that shows you gratitude for being in my life.  I want to applaud you and help you see your beauty, talent, power and strength.  

I want us to both see one another how we should see ourselves, realize our own worth, welcome it, own it and KICK ASS together.  I promise that the best in me will be here for all the best in you.  

Thank you for another year of your friendship. 

Xo

~Gina

#justkeepclapping

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