NOT Today.

Not today.

I have always been a believer of setting an intention for your day to keep you focused and grounded on the positive, as well as recording what you are grateful for each night.  And I still am….although this may seem to put a little bit of a different spin on this practice.

Lately I find myself doing a bit of the reverse and have been setting the intention for myself each day with saying: “Not Today.”

This seems to go against my normal positivity, however I have been finding that it is necessary and helping me keep my sanity when faced with difficult conversations, situations and people…as well as my own thoughts and opinions when my mind wanders to the less positive.

What do I mean? Let me break it down for you.

I get up each morning and say to myself, “Not Today”. This is the answer that could pertain to the following:

•          Will I let someone to treat me rudely?
•          Will I allow for my viewpoint to remain silent?
•          Will I accept the status quo?
•          Will I take a back seat and watch things unfold that I don’t agree with?
•          Will I allow for anyone else to treat me less than I deserve to be treated?
•          Will I let someone walk all over me?
•          Will I over-compromise my own beliefs?
•          Will I allow myself to judge my self-worth against others?
•          Will I accept something that I feel I need more information on?
•          Will I be a witness to something that makes me feel uncomfortable?
•          Will I overcommit myself?
•          Will I feel bad about not reaching a certain goal I have set for myself?

NOPE…NOT Today.  Tomorrow? Sure, maybe I’ll let you push me around tomorrow. But I’m definitely not going to allow for that today. 

It’s like there is this little voice in my head reminding me of the things I don’t want to observe, fall victim to or put up with, and when it goes off, I have this burst of additional strength to speak up for myself and/or take the action that makes the most sense (depending on the situation).

I feel more empowered and ready to face not only potential conflict that may arise, but myself.  I’m more equipped somehow to hold myself accountable to the goals I set such as working out, drinking more water than I ever thought I could, or something as simply not allowing a day to go by without telling someone I love them.  When I find myself hinting toward an excuse to not do something I set out to do, I say, “not today” and make sure I tackle it head on, and smash it.

The result: I am happier. I am accomplishing more goals. I am not dwelling on the would-haves, could-haves or should-haves. I am looking back on the “I dids” instead and feeling more confident tackling whatever else may come my way.  And others may learn that I'm not going to put up with their shenanigans without out least saying something about it. 

Are you up for giving it a try? If so—let me know how your “not today” goes! I'd love to hear from you!

Xo

Gina

Decompress, Recharge & Take Care of YOU This Summer

Summer is here. And for many of us it’s a time of vacations, a time of being free from school or a slow time at work or in your business. It is synonymous with relaxation and taking a break.  Often times this mentality can also cause unnecessary pressure and stress due to the expectations that everyone is going on a vacation or you are going to blink and the summer will be over with nothing to show for it. 

Now is a good time to focus on taking care of you.  It’s time to unwind, decompress and to recharge. Here are some tips on how to accomplish just that.

Just watch the clouds go by.

It is so easy to get stuck in the mindset that you have to do something pretty much all the time. This can add a lot of unnecessary stress. Why not change things up a bit and try doing nothing at all from time to time this summer.

Just go for a walk in the woods. Sit by the ocean and take it all in. Or lie down in the grass and just watch the clouds go by.

Do only that, savor the moments of summer and feel how the inner tensions flow out of your body and mind.

Disconnect.

Don’t go online unless it’s necessary. Try to check your emails once a day. Leave your smartphone at home while you are out in the sun enjoying a book.

You may find that you haven’t missed much by not being available all the time. And discover that your stress levels have dropped quite a bit and it feels easier to fully focus on your family, friends and the moments that you are spending making memories.

Half of 2018 has now gone by and it’s easy to get stuck on focusing on what went wrong or on your own setbacks or mistakes. So take a break from that. Try flipping it around and ask yourself: What can I appreciate about what I did and I accomplished during these 6 months?

It doesn’t always have to be big things. And be sure to appreciate what you did, the effort you put in even if things didn’t go exactly as planned.

Slow it down.

This will also dial your stress down. And, perhaps even more importantly, help you to be in the moment and to fully enjoy all the sights, sounds, smells and people of your summer. Instead of being lost in a memory while life and perhaps something really wonderful is happening right in front of you. In other words…be fully present.

Say no to the ‘shoulds’ of summer.

There are sneaky shoulds in life. They can make a vacation filled with things you “just have to do before the summer is over “and they’ll leave you more tired than you were before your time off even started.  Avoid them and you may find that it makes it easier to simply relax and to say no to doing something because you realize that it just isn’t that important anyway, just to be able to say you did it.

Spend more time doing what you love.

Maybe it’s hanging out at a marina with friends. Or reading books. Or playing with your kids or hanging out with an old friend by a fire.

No matter what it might be, think about how you can fit more of what you love doing into not only your summer, but the rest of your 2018. Think about what you spend your time on during a normal week.

Then find 1-2 things during your regular weeks that you can spend less time on. Or things you can simply say no to so that you have a bit more time and energy over each week during the summer, fall and winter for what you love doing.

Saying Goodbye to 'A Girl's Best Friend'

Saying goodbye to “A Girl’s Best Friend”

Today we had to make one of the hardest decisions anyone must make that has a pet-to allow them to pass without suffering anymore.  Our boxer Logan was the sweetest, gentlest and kindest soul.  I feel I need to acknowledge him in some way because what I may have taken for granted is the fact that he was my absolute source of unconditional love.  I am writing this because I feel I need to memorialize my feelings. 

We adopted Logan when he was 5 years old from a family that was moving and looking to give him to a family that would give him a good life.  I never grew up with pets and when we adopted Logan, we had already had our smaller dog, Harley, a puggle.  I thought that was more than enough for me at the time.  However, my husband had always wanted a Boxer and when I received a text that a family was looking for a home for their Boxer, and then the picture came through, there was just something about him.  I had to show my husband and I somehow became open to the fact of possibly owning two dogs.  We met him soon after and Logan immediately had an effect on us and I immediately had a soft spot for him.  He quickly became a member of our family. He quickly became my best friend.

I feel that he came to us during a time in our life where things were stressful, also joyful and completely crazy-insane!  No matter what we were going through as a family, he was our silent support.  What I am now realizing is that he was not only my constant shadow, following me around the house, no matter what I was doing-getting dressed, working, cooking-he was always right there by my side.  He is the only one I feel in this house that loved me completely unconditionally. This is going to be one of the hardest things about losing him.

He didn’t care if I was happy, sad, stressed or moody.  He didn’t care if I looked a complete mess, he loved me regardless.  He didn’t care if all he had to do was sit with me in silence.  It’s like he knew what I was thinking and didn’t judge me.  We vibed on one another’s vibes. I felt he knew what I thinking or how I was feeling by just giving me this 'look' he had.

I never had to worry about him wanting to spend time with me.  That’s the amazingness about pets, they love you and want to be with you no matter what.  They don’t care how you look, (thank goodness) or what you have or don’t have—they just love your soul and the true being you are.  They understand your energy at any given moment and adapt to it, letting you know they are there. Sure, I would tell him many times to stop following me and just to relax and go lay down. Sure, I would tell him to just let me take a shower in peace. Those are the moments I am now going to miss the most.  He knew me—ME. The real me and loved me anyway.

With him around I always felt safe. I was never truly alone, and I am going to miss that feeling of safety. 

He was part of our family for 6 years, not nearly long enough but we were blessed to have even been able to have him be a part of our lives.  It seems he aged so fast and literally over a month’s time.  He was almost 11.  Time flies fast and this serves as a reminder that time is passing, it is always passing, and we need to do whatever we can to slow it down and enjoy the moments in time that we will look back on and remember as the more meaningful ones.

So, Logan, I am truly thankful for having you in my life. I hope you will keep an eye on us from your side of the rainbow bridge.

Thank you for your unwavering and unconditional love. Thank you for being my non-judgmental shadow and confidant.  Thank you for being you.  I love you and am going to miss you terribly kiddo.

You were truly this girl’s best friend.

Boston Voyager Magazine Interview for Boston's Most Inspiring Stories

Honored to be nominated and interviewed for

 Boston Voyager Magazine! 

Boston's Most Inspiring Stories

If you ever wanted to know more about me and what I do, 

this article captures 'me' very well! 

Read Full Article Here!

Change the Game

Change the Game

What you can do when you feel like giving up!

“It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.”

William Shakespeare

Some days are light, fun and filled with inspiration. Some days are just routine. And on some days, you may feel like just giving up on…

 Your new habit of working out or eating healthier.

 Your own small business or blog because you haven’t had the results you expected or wanted.

 Dating because you can’t seem to find the right person or maybe even have a good date at all.

When you find yourself in these predicaments and feel like just giving up and throwing in the towel…don’t.  It’s what you do in these circumstances that will determine a lot about where your life will go. 

Here are some tips on how to deal with those days and change the game.

1. Keep it Real.

If you read no further than this, it’s ok as this one is SUPER important.

Usually if something sounds too good to be true, it is.  Make sure you have realistic expectations.  Allow for mistakes and failure.  Heck even allow for the disappointment.  It’s ok to be cautiously optimistic.

It’s totally acceptable to have hope, keep the faith and believe that things are going to go your way, but when you keep it real, you are safeguarding yourself from letdown.  You are also preparing for a plan B in the event things don’t go as expected and sometimes, that journey leads you to an even better destination. 

2. Remember your WHY.

It’s easy to lose the big picture in our busy everyday lives. If you feel like giving up, try reconnecting with why you are doing what you are doing in the first place.

Is it to: 

 Support and keep your family safe.

 Live healthier and longer so you get to watch your kids grow up.

 See the world and explore new things.

Write down your why. Then, whenever you feel like giving up pull out that piece of paper with your most powerful why(s). It often helps.

3. Remember: The light will shine through the darkness.

This thought has helped me to hold on when things have felt very difficult and I felt like giving up. I have found it to be true.

When you find yourself at that low point it will force you to change something in how you do things.

But life seems to also always have some kind of balance if you can just keep going. Try to keep taking action instead of giving up-when we keep pushing through, this is when the magic usually happens.

4. It’s ok to readjust or change the path.

When you run into a plateau or a longer rough patch try to learn more, and course correct. Reconnect with the basics and examine how you do things.  Be honest with yourself and admit to what isn’t working.  Try replacing those things and see if things work better, even if it means you have to step out of your comfort zone. 

5. Try something different or something else.

Sometimes it is not time to give up. But it may be time to quit what you are doing and to try something else.

If you feel like giving up or you are bored a lot, if you feel no real passion or excitement on your current path, then ask yourself these two questions:

 Am doing this because I truly want it?

 Or am I doing it because someone told me to or because so many people around me seem to have done it or are working on it?

What you want isn’t easy to know before you get started though. You may need to try different paths before you find one that fits you. For instance, just because everyone around you seems to love yoga or running, doesn’t mean that you have to love it or that you have to give up on the habit of regular exercise that works better for you. Try a new way of doing what you want and see if it is a better fit and more enjoyable for you.

Stop the negative self-talk and realize that you are your own worst critic.  Don’t expect to be in a judgement-free zone if you are constantly judging yourself and that bar you have set so high for yourself is stressing you out! 

It’s time to change the game and show yourself some love. 

xo,

Gina

Smoke & Mirrors

It’s really hard to put yourself out there.  Like really, really hard. You open yourself up to judgement, scrutiny, assumptions and expectations.  But on the flip side, you also allow yourself to be open to love, support, personal growth, and hopefully, making an impact.  It is definitely a balance that you pray leans in your favor. 

I have experienced love and support and it has come from the most unexpected places.

This has been the most special and humbling part of putting myself out there, not realizing how much you are supported by those you never knew were even paying attention to you! And not to mention also feeling the love from complete strangers.

Honestly though, this isn’t all about rainbows and unicorns.  Of course, everything you see on social media looks great and perfect most of the time. It’s mostly smoke and mirrors.  We often portray the illusion that we all have our sh*t together. 

I know that it may appear on the surface that I know what I am doing. It may seem as though I had all this extra time on my hands to sit around and write a book (or two, yes, I ended up writing two).  Unfortunately, that isn’t really the case or premise under which this book was born, and I feel that it is important to share just a little snippet of my backstory -what is behind all the smoke and mirrors, so that anyone who reads this will understand my ‘why'.

For over the last three years, I have been a completely stressed out for a ton of different reasons.  I am not going to talk about those reasons because I don’t want to open myself up that much right now.  Just know that things are not what they seem all the time from what is portrayed by me on social media.  Some of us do a really good job of putting on a smile and refocusing when the world around us feels like it is filled with dark clouds, obstacles constantly in the way, and completely against us.  The amount of stress some of us live and face is unbearable and while there is always someone going through a worse hell, your own hell is what can consume you. 

This has been my life for a while. I have been consumed by things beyond my control. I have had a choice everyday to let it win, or I could do everything in my power to keep fighting the good fight—and there have been many. There have been countless days when I would want to throw in the towel, curl up with a neat whiskey, and raise up the white flag-but somehow, I didn’t.  I decided I was going to take control in any way I could and fight back. I was going to fight for the ‘B’ that is ME.

I had an ah ha! moment one night in early November and realized that I needed an outlet, and that very night, I finally started to write. I needed a distraction and something to focus my energy on and writing proved to be incredibly therapeutic.  I am not even a writer, had no idea what I was doing, but it just flowed. So much so that I ended up writing a second book.  For myself, this was a labor of love and a means to keep my sanity and have something to look forward to. It became my light. I looked forward to holding onto my own sanity and identity each time my fingers typed. 

And it’s true, I didn’t tell a single soul that I was writing because firstly, I didn’t actually know if I would get anywhere with it once I was finished, and secondly, I wanted to do it for me without the added stress of the opinions of what I should or shouldn’t be writing about. And here we are….

This is why when I put myself out there and can feel the love back, I am truly humbled and feeding off of that love right now.  It’s been my baby and my light, and I thank you for shining it back so brightly. I started to feel a little twinge of guilt like I shouldn’t be so excited and happy, anyone can write a book—but then came to my senses and am owning the fact that this is my accomplishment I can look back on, right in this very moment even.

I can say I did it. And I did it for me. I will take my own advice and allow myself to relish in it and have something to be excited about and look forward to right now.  I can feel some of the smoke dissipating and the light is starting to shine through and reflect onto me.  

Xo

Gina

SELFish AF

Oh...did you think the 'AF' meant something else?! I won't lie, I feel that is the ultimate goal here, to be SELFish AF and love your whole self without reservation or guilt. We will get there with the right mindset and Focus. For right now let's have the F stand for FOCUSED for the time being.

If living for others and focusing on someone else’s needs before your own is selfless and good, then why is focusing on ourselves usually considered selfish and bad?

When we place focus on our own self, improvement, love, worth and personal development, we ultimately become happier and more positive. This fosters a stronger and more compassionate spirit, the striving to be a become a better person. It is not selfish because bringing out the best of your Self will certainly benefit friends, family members and all of those whom you love and encounter.

It’s important to be SELFish And Focused because when we are happy, those around us are influenced to feel happiness. When we are positive and tranquil, those around us will feel more positive and tranquil, too. When we strive every day to bring out the best of ourselves, others around us necessarily benefit. In this way, focusing on ourselves is not selfish; we actually serve to better ourselves on behalf of others.

Stay Selfishly focused and let go of the guilt…

The definition of selfishness is to be more concerned with our own interests, needs, and wishes while explicitly ignoring those of others. Being selfish means that you show that your personal needs and wishes are thought to be more important than those of other people. To be primarily self-concerned is to necessarily neglect others. But by these definitions, couldn’t striving to better ourselves through introspection and inner growth be considered selfish, as well?

Am I endorsing people to be more selfish? Nope…

When we selfishly focus on ourselves with the goal of becoming a better person, we are not acting selfishly so long as the betterment of who we are on the inside will benefit those around us, from our families and friends to coworkers and strangers we encounter every day.

There is a connectedness between how our mood and actions can influence the mood and actions of others. When we are on our inner journey to improve our Self– we can actually come to improve the lives of those around us because more compassionate, happier, and positive people have a direct influence on everyone he or she encounters and interacts with.

Improving Our Self is Improving Our Health

An equivalent of self-improvement and personal development through which one strives to better the Self in an unselfish way is focusing on your own health through exercise, eating well and self-care activities. I am pretty sure that very few of us would ever consider exercising, eating healthily or taking a nice hot bath as selfish acts, and yet they place deliberate focus and attention upon one’s Self.

Improving our inner selves necessarily benefits those around us, too. If we live healthier lifestyles, we are lengthening our lives not only for ourselves but for our families and friends and all of those around us.

Showing concern for our self over others is selfish. But when we strive to become happier and more positive, work to foster a stronger and more compassionate spirit and become better people, we explicitly place attention on the development of ourselves for the benefit of those around us.

In this way, we focus on ourselves without being selfish, because bringing out the best of us is what’s best for others.

So, I invite you to join the rest of us that are on a mission to be more selfish and finally free ourselves from the stigma that is associated with that philosophy.

Who’s with me?