Thank YOU for Another Year of Friendship-My Pledge

If you are fortunate enough to have the type of friend that I like to describe as low maintenance, silent, always there for you even though you don’t see one another often, talk on the phone or even text often, but that when you see them, you can feel their love for you. That friend that no matter if you feel like you’re having the worst hair day, feel bloated and like shit, will always tell you how fabulous you look. Go the extra step and even point out and compliment your how your blush lights up your face (you know who you are) or how you are slaying that lip gloss.  Yep-that friend. That genuine I-get-you friendship.  The one you feel that somehow you just don’t deserve. 

Why? Because they are the ones that are there for YOU. The ones that go out of their way to make YOU feel good. To light YOU up, effortlessly, no matter what shit they are constantly dealing with in their own lives, they are wanting to hear about YOUR shit.  They are worried about YOU, not themselves.  They love YOU.  They put YOU before THEM.  Wait…. these friends exist?!  They most certainly do and I am blessed to have some in my inner circle. 

What prompted this post is actually a Christmas card I received in the mail yesterday.  From one of these special friends in my life.  It was what she wrote in the last sentence that struck me and made me shed a few tears and think for a bit about our friendship.  She wrote, “Thank you for another year of your friendship.”  She writes this pretty much on every card she has sent me and for some reason this year it struck me differently.  Maybe because I am getting older and looking at life from a different perspective? Or maybe because I have been having some stressful and shitty days lately that reading that really struck a chord with me. 

Someone is thanking me for being their friend?  When does that ever happen? I feel like I do not deserve her friendship, but I am so blessed and honored to call her my friend.  When is the last time I have thanked my inner circle for being there for me and for another year of their friendship?  After all, we choose our friends, they can drop us like hot potatoes at any time, yet real friends choose not to.  They stick by you through it all.

So I am writing this because I want to make sure that I let my friends know that I am thankful for their friendship.  I also pledge today to try to be a better friend no matter what else I may be wrapped up in at the moment.  

My Pledge: The Friend I Want To Be

I want to be that friend that when I see you, you feel welcomed, accepted and greeted in my presence. That means when I see you, I start with love.  

I want you to feel that you are enough.  More than enough. In fact when you are with me, talking to me, confiding in me, I don’t want you to ever feel insecure or judged in my presence.  I want you to see the best in me and I will always see the best in you.  

I want you to feel celebrated as my friend.  I want to be the friend that shows you gratitude for being in my life.  I want to applaud you and help you see your beauty, talent, power and strength.  

I want us to both see one another how we should see ourselves, realize our own worth, welcome it, own it and KICK ASS together.  I promise that the best in me will be here for all the best in you.  

Thank you for another year of your friendship. 

Xo

~Gina

#justkeepclapping

www.ginaclapprood.com

 

It’s Hard to be the Merry Maker…

Ok so here is where I’m at.  I have been thinking about these things all weekend and have had these thoughts circling around inside my head so figured why not write about it.  It may help to just get them out in this form.  While I really and truly try to stay positive as much as I can, heck I declare myself an eternal optimist and hell if I am going to post something that veers off that path—but it is what it is today.  Truth is, while I am as much as an optimist as I can be, sometimes it’s just exhausting and those rose-colored glasses can get really fogged up.

So I have been thinking about a lot of things as I often do around the holidays and as we come up on a new year that also brings a new beginning.  However, I am three and a half months already into my new beginning.  I just don’t publicize it.  I posted something on Facebook on my 39^th birthday this summer that this was going to be the beginning of my year and I meant it.  I didn’t go into detail, but I knew what that meant.  I was going to take time for me, as hard as it is, I was going to start to take the advice I often give to my clients, and make time for myself-guilt free.  Why? Because I was a ball of stress, miserable, exhausted, not-wanting-to leave the house-version of myself.  Yep.  I am sure I will post more on that eventually.

Every once and awhile you get to a point where it becomes hard to stay as positive as everyone thinks you are all of the time. Sure you can keep posting inspirational quotes and photos and hope that it lifts someone else’s spirit for the day. But what happens when no one responds? When there are crickets? Complete crickets? Or when we are afraid of putting ourselves out there and facing judgment? Let me share a couple recent examples of what I mean. 

This past Friday after a long week, I wanted to do something to kick off the weekend on a fun note for my coworkers.  I mean we all go to work, every day, and for the most part get sucked into the day and work hard.  I try my best to bring some fun to the workplace.  I created a couple “Elf Yourself” videos of our team and sent to the company and…crickets could be heard.  I mean really?  I was feeling like, I took the time to make you stop during the monotony of your day to laugh—to put a smile on your face and you don’t even acknowledge it? You didn’t have time to open it?  Really? Now I know you have probably looked at your phone over a dozen times.  So I started thinking, what am I doing and why? Was I having a rough week and I just needed the reprieve and laugh? Does no one else really need a break and a good reason to smile every now and then?  I’m at a loss.  I am the type of person that would respond so I just don’t get it.  All I know is that it completely de-motivated me. 

Also last week, I began a video journal to document my struggle with migraines and the decision to try Botox injections for treatment.  I decided to do this because I went into a panic the night before my appointment, and I found myself on YouTube looking at videos from others in similar situations as myself to learn my fate and what to expect.  They helped calm me.  I figured this would be a way for me to help someone else, as well as a way for me to document my progress for my own record.  Now unless you really know me, you may not even know I have migraines, because I very rarely complain about them-or complain at all.  When I was making the videos I must have recorded myself a ton of times because I hated the way I looked or sounded, my husband and kids made comments (mostly out of love, kidding with me) about how I was making a stupid video and no one was going to watch them anyway. So of course they think they are funny and mean well—but I did start to think maybe I shouldn’t bother and I started to doubt myself.  Feeling completely unmotivated and deflated in my hope to maybe help someone else that may be on the same path as me for a solution.

So here I am back to my original question, how do you stay motivated and positive when others just don’t seem to get where you are coming from? When you seem to be the one on a totally different planet at times? I have been pondering this all weekend.  After thinking more about it, I realized that I was doing this ultimately for me.  I was keeping a promise I made to myself.  I decided then that I didn’t care—I was going to continue doing things for me, even if I am the only one laughing with the rest of the crickets.

I know what I need to do-and it’s not to quit.  Don’t worry about being judged.  Let it just fuel you to work harder and out work everyone. I need to continue to focus on me and what will make me laugh and keep me sane.  What will make me happy and make me feel good about myself and my path.  Screw it if everyone else isn’t on board.  Just start taking it one day at a time. We should be more concerned with lifting one another up and supporting each other as much as we can.

I pledge to myself that no matter what I am going through, I will keep trying to make life just a little bit better for others. Because you just don’t know when you can change someone else’s life or your own life for the better. 

#justkeepclapping

Let's Rewind and Be Kind

“Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give.”Eleanor Roosevelt

It is important to take pause each day and rewind.  Think about a time when someone else truly made us happy.  When is the last time we went out of our way to make someone else's day? Being kind and happy is free and the emotion from giving and receiving is priceless. 

Spreading kindness is an easy thing we can do each day to make our own piece of the world a better place.  Sometimes we are just so busy that we forget about it or don’t feel comfortable sharing how kind we can be for various reasons. 

The other day I was reminded how a simple act of kindness can really change the course of the day.  I was in Target (where else would I be?) and I couldn’t reach what I wanted on the top shelf.  This gentleman must have seen the look on my face contemplating if I should attempt to step on the shelf and start climbing to try to reach it.  He came over to me and asked if he could save me the trouble and get it for me.  Now he could have just either ignored that he saw me in the first place, or amused himself and watched me.  Instead he chose to help me.  That small gesture really made me thankful and put me in a place where I was ready to also pay it forward for the rest of the day.  

A few things that I like to try to keep in mind that help me to try to be a kinder person are these:

§  You get what you give. While it’s sadly true that some people will be ungrateful no matter what you try to do for them, don’t let that get to you.  As long as you can rest your head at night without regret, that is what matters.  Most people will treat you as you treat them.

§  By being kinder to others I am more likely to be kinder to myself. It may sound a bit odd but my experience is that when I am kinder towards others then my kindness toward myself improves.

§  It creates a happier place to live in. Being kinder simply makes my own little piece of the world a nicer and happier place to live in.

So how can you start spreading kindness and happiness in your daily life? Here are some simple ways to do it.

1. Express your gratitude. 

Think about what you can be grateful for about someone in your life. Maybe that he is a good listener, that he often is quick to help out, do the laundry, get dinner started when he knows that you are coming home from work after a long day, or he knows that your time to yourself is at night to workout and take care of YOU-no questions asked.  

2. Recall how people’s kindness made you feel.

Just sit down for a few minutes and try to recall one time or a few times when other people’s kindness really touched you and helped you out.

Then think about how you can do those very same things for someone in your life.

3. Express kindness for something you may often take for granted.

It is easy to remember and to feel motivated to express kindness when someone is having a rough time or have just finished an important project.

But also remember to express kindness for how someone continues to put so much love into the dinners you eat. Or for being on time every day and doing their job well and keeping deadlines.

4. Just be there.

Listen – without thinking about something else – when someone needs to vent. Just be fully present with your attention. 

5. Remember the small acts of kindness too.

Let someone into your lane while driving. Let someone skip ahead of you in a line if he’s in a real hurry. Hold up the door for someone or ask if they need help when you see them struggling to reach an item that is way on top of a shelf and they can’t reach it.

6. Help the people in your life see how they make a difference in their lives.

When you talk to someone about his or her day or what has been going on lately then make sure to point out how he or she also has spread kindness and happiness. People are often unaware of the positive things they do or they minimize them in their own minds.

So, help them to see themselves in a more positive light and to improve their own self-esteem.

7. Pay it forward.

When someone does something kind for you – no matter how big or small – then try to pay that forward by being kind to someone else as soon as you can.

8. Be kinder towards yourself.

Then you will naturally treat other people with more kindness too. It is truly a win-win habit.

A simple way to start being kinder toward yourself is to each evening write down 3 things you appreciate about yourself and about what you have done that day in a journal. (See the Gratitude Challenge Post for more information)

 xo

Gina