Change the Game

Change the Game

What you can do when you feel like giving up!

“It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.”

William Shakespeare

Some days are light, fun and filled with inspiration. Some days are just routine. And on some days, you may feel like just giving up on…

 Your new habit of working out or eating healthier.

 Your own small business or blog because you haven’t had the results you expected or wanted.

 Dating because you can’t seem to find the right person or maybe even have a good date at all.

When you find yourself in these predicaments and feel like just giving up and throwing in the towel…don’t.  It’s what you do in these circumstances that will determine a lot about where your life will go. 

Here are some tips on how to deal with those days and change the game.

1. Keep it Real.

If you read no further than this, it’s ok as this one is SUPER important.

Usually if something sounds too good to be true, it is.  Make sure you have realistic expectations.  Allow for mistakes and failure.  Heck even allow for the disappointment.  It’s ok to be cautiously optimistic.

It’s totally acceptable to have hope, keep the faith and believe that things are going to go your way, but when you keep it real, you are safeguarding yourself from letdown.  You are also preparing for a plan B in the event things don’t go as expected and sometimes, that journey leads you to an even better destination. 

2. Remember your WHY.

It’s easy to lose the big picture in our busy everyday lives. If you feel like giving up, try reconnecting with why you are doing what you are doing in the first place.

Is it to: 

 Support and keep your family safe.

 Live healthier and longer so you get to watch your kids grow up.

 See the world and explore new things.

Write down your why. Then, whenever you feel like giving up pull out that piece of paper with your most powerful why(s). It often helps.

3. Remember: The light will shine through the darkness.

This thought has helped me to hold on when things have felt very difficult and I felt like giving up. I have found it to be true.

When you find yourself at that low point it will force you to change something in how you do things.

But life seems to also always have some kind of balance if you can just keep going. Try to keep taking action instead of giving up-when we keep pushing through, this is when the magic usually happens.

4. It’s ok to readjust or change the path.

When you run into a plateau or a longer rough patch try to learn more, and course correct. Reconnect with the basics and examine how you do things.  Be honest with yourself and admit to what isn’t working.  Try replacing those things and see if things work better, even if it means you have to step out of your comfort zone. 

5. Try something different or something else.

Sometimes it is not time to give up. But it may be time to quit what you are doing and to try something else.

If you feel like giving up or you are bored a lot, if you feel no real passion or excitement on your current path, then ask yourself these two questions:

 Am doing this because I truly want it?

 Or am I doing it because someone told me to or because so many people around me seem to have done it or are working on it?

What you want isn’t easy to know before you get started though. You may need to try different paths before you find one that fits you. For instance, just because everyone around you seems to love yoga or running, doesn’t mean that you have to love it or that you have to give up on the habit of regular exercise that works better for you. Try a new way of doing what you want and see if it is a better fit and more enjoyable for you.

Stop the negative self-talk and realize that you are your own worst critic.  Don’t expect to be in a judgement-free zone if you are constantly judging yourself and that bar you have set so high for yourself is stressing you out! 

It’s time to change the game and show yourself some love. 

xo,

Gina

Smoke & Mirrors

It’s really hard to put yourself out there.  Like really, really hard. You open yourself up to judgement, scrutiny, assumptions and expectations.  But on the flip side, you also allow yourself to be open to love, support, personal growth, and hopefully, making an impact.  It is definitely a balance that you pray leans in your favor. 

I have experienced love and support and it has come from the most unexpected places.

This has been the most special and humbling part of putting myself out there, not realizing how much you are supported by those you never knew were even paying attention to you! And not to mention also feeling the love from complete strangers.

Honestly though, this isn’t all about rainbows and unicorns.  Of course, everything you see on social media looks great and perfect most of the time. It’s mostly smoke and mirrors.  We often portray the illusion that we all have our sh*t together. 

I know that it may appear on the surface that I know what I am doing. It may seem as though I had all this extra time on my hands to sit around and write a book (or two, yes, I ended up writing two).  Unfortunately, that isn’t really the case or premise under which this book was born, and I feel that it is important to share just a little snippet of my backstory -what is behind all the smoke and mirrors, so that anyone who reads this will understand my ‘why'.

For over the last three years, I have been a completely stressed out for a ton of different reasons.  I am not going to talk about those reasons because I don’t want to open myself up that much right now.  Just know that things are not what they seem all the time from what is portrayed by me on social media.  Some of us do a really good job of putting on a smile and refocusing when the world around us feels like it is filled with dark clouds, obstacles constantly in the way, and completely against us.  The amount of stress some of us live and face is unbearable and while there is always someone going through a worse hell, your own hell is what can consume you. 

This has been my life for a while. I have been consumed by things beyond my control. I have had a choice everyday to let it win, or I could do everything in my power to keep fighting the good fight—and there have been many. There have been countless days when I would want to throw in the towel, curl up with a neat whiskey, and raise up the white flag-but somehow, I didn’t.  I decided I was going to take control in any way I could and fight back. I was going to fight for the ‘B’ that is ME.

I had an ah ha! moment one night in early November and realized that I needed an outlet, and that very night, I finally started to write. I needed a distraction and something to focus my energy on and writing proved to be incredibly therapeutic.  I am not even a writer, had no idea what I was doing, but it just flowed. So much so that I ended up writing a second book.  For myself, this was a labor of love and a means to keep my sanity and have something to look forward to. It became my light. I looked forward to holding onto my own sanity and identity each time my fingers typed. 

And it’s true, I didn’t tell a single soul that I was writing because firstly, I didn’t actually know if I would get anywhere with it once I was finished, and secondly, I wanted to do it for me without the added stress of the opinions of what I should or shouldn’t be writing about. And here we are….

This is why when I put myself out there and can feel the love back, I am truly humbled and feeding off of that love right now.  It’s been my baby and my light, and I thank you for shining it back so brightly. I started to feel a little twinge of guilt like I shouldn’t be so excited and happy, anyone can write a book—but then came to my senses and am owning the fact that this is my accomplishment I can look back on, right in this very moment even.

I can say I did it. And I did it for me. I will take my own advice and allow myself to relish in it and have something to be excited about and look forward to right now.  I can feel some of the smoke dissipating and the light is starting to shine through and reflect onto me.  

Xo

Gina

SELFish AF

Oh...did you think the 'AF' meant something else?! I won't lie, I feel that is the ultimate goal here, to be SELFish AF and love your whole self without reservation or guilt. We will get there with the right mindset and Focus. For right now let's have the F stand for FOCUSED for the time being.

If living for others and focusing on someone else’s needs before your own is selfless and good, then why is focusing on ourselves usually considered selfish and bad?

When we place focus on our own self, improvement, love, worth and personal development, we ultimately become happier and more positive. This fosters a stronger and more compassionate spirit, the striving to be a become a better person. It is not selfish because bringing out the best of your Self will certainly benefit friends, family members and all of those whom you love and encounter.

It’s important to be SELFish And Focused because when we are happy, those around us are influenced to feel happiness. When we are positive and tranquil, those around us will feel more positive and tranquil, too. When we strive every day to bring out the best of ourselves, others around us necessarily benefit. In this way, focusing on ourselves is not selfish; we actually serve to better ourselves on behalf of others.

Stay Selfishly focused and let go of the guilt…

The definition of selfishness is to be more concerned with our own interests, needs, and wishes while explicitly ignoring those of others. Being selfish means that you show that your personal needs and wishes are thought to be more important than those of other people. To be primarily self-concerned is to necessarily neglect others. But by these definitions, couldn’t striving to better ourselves through introspection and inner growth be considered selfish, as well?

Am I endorsing people to be more selfish? Nope…

When we selfishly focus on ourselves with the goal of becoming a better person, we are not acting selfishly so long as the betterment of who we are on the inside will benefit those around us, from our families and friends to coworkers and strangers we encounter every day.

There is a connectedness between how our mood and actions can influence the mood and actions of others. When we are on our inner journey to improve our Self– we can actually come to improve the lives of those around us because more compassionate, happier, and positive people have a direct influence on everyone he or she encounters and interacts with.

Improving Our Self is Improving Our Health

An equivalent of self-improvement and personal development through which one strives to better the Self in an unselfish way is focusing on your own health through exercise, eating well and self-care activities. I am pretty sure that very few of us would ever consider exercising, eating healthily or taking a nice hot bath as selfish acts, and yet they place deliberate focus and attention upon one’s Self.

Improving our inner selves necessarily benefits those around us, too. If we live healthier lifestyles, we are lengthening our lives not only for ourselves but for our families and friends and all of those around us.

Showing concern for our self over others is selfish. But when we strive to become happier and more positive, work to foster a stronger and more compassionate spirit and become better people, we explicitly place attention on the development of ourselves for the benefit of those around us.

In this way, we focus on ourselves without being selfish, because bringing out the best of us is what’s best for others.

So, I invite you to join the rest of us that are on a mission to be more selfish and finally free ourselves from the stigma that is associated with that philosophy.

Who’s with me?

Collaborate (with me!) in Style!

Collaborate (with me!) in Style

I am looking to team up with YOU! There are many ways we can team up with one another to create something AMAZING. If you have a blog, business, product, or expertise you want to share, consider this your invitation to collaborate with me!

Why Partner Up?! Collaborations are a great way to get noticed online and build your brand. You will have the opportunity to partner with other amazing businesses and/or bloggers and you will give yourselves the exposure to new audiences and attract new subscribers and potential customers.

Collaborations give you the outlet to share your expertise and or products with people that just may be looking for exactly what you have to offer!

Not sure how we may be able to partner up or what you would have to offer? Below are some ideas on how collaborations can work and how we can support one another:

1. Guest posting. Writing a guest post is probably the simplest of the blogger collaborations you can do, but one that is still very effective. This will allow you to get your writing in front of a new audience and get new readers to your site.

2. Webinar and Video Collaborations. I’ve seen many bloggers partnering to do webinars and live videos together lately. Video content is great because it allows your readers to get to see another side of you, instead of always just reading your content. And if you’re feeling nervous about doing a webinar, it can be great to have someone else hosting with you. This is perfect for promoting new products and services and you can each offer a discount to viewers who purchase both at the end!

3. Host a giveaway together. You’ve probably run a giveaway before, but this would be a means to get more interest and traffic to your site. It’s a great way to reward and incentive your followers!

4. Make a List Post with Your Favorite Bloggers. These types of posts are popular because it allows for introductions to the people you trust. This type of collaboration is simply just you telling people about the businesses, bloggers and products you like! You place yourself in a great position because you are giving the gift of publicity without any expectation of a return.

5. Interview each other. Another one of the simpler collaborations is to interview one another. Not only will you benefit from the thoughts they share with you, so will your audience! And your interviewee will likely share the interview with their audience, which gets more traffic to your website! A total win-win!

6. Create and sell a product. Share your knowledge with one another and join forces to create and sell an eBook or e-course.

7. Form a referral network/Mastermind Group. Work together to form a network where you can meet and connect to brainstorm and share ideas for continued success.

ARE YOU IN?! How do you feel that we can work with each other? I would love to hear from you if you’d like to team up and pick one of the collaborations listed above.

I am honored to have a few collaborations that I am currently working on! Stay tuned and make sure you are connected to me on social media to learn about  more great content, advice, businesses, products and tips! (Instagram  Facebook Page)

If you are interested, leave a comment or email me directly and let me know which of these you’d like to try. Let’s lift one another up and style the life we crave for ourselves in 2018!


xo
Gina

New Year...New Promises

Who is ready to step into 2018? Every New Year it seems brings the perfect opportunity for all of us to BE BETTER and DO BETTER than we were the year prior, right? I have always set goals versus resolutions each year with the hope of achieving them before the year ends- do you all set goals for yourselves? If so, what are yours for 2018?

This year I have decided that I’m not going to set ANY GOALS. No-sir-ee! Instead I am making PROMISES. Promises first and foremost to myself. My thought behind this is that I NEVER go back on a promise. I am a girl of my word. If I promise you that I will or won’t do something, you better believe I will follow through with it and won’t let you down. So why on earth would I make a promise to myself and let mySELF down? Not going to happen.  Makes you think differently, am I right?!

2018 is upon us, and so is the promise of what is to come. Promise yourself you’ll work towards being the best version of YOU-mind, body and soul. Then work on the promises you’ll make to keep for your loved ones, etc.

Last but not least, as we get ready to say goodbye to 2017 and hello to 2018, I just want to wish every single one of you a wonderful and amazing New Year. As we say goodbye to this year, and reflect on things that we accomplished / are grateful for- I just want to say thank you all so much for an amazing 2017- together you have helped me accomplish so many things far and beyond my dreams and I am so extremely grateful.
I can't wait to see all the awesome things that we will explore, experience and achieve in 2018 together. Have the most wonderful New Year. I promise I will do my absolute best to help make that happen for you in any way I can.

xo,

Gina

Holiday Self Care Challenge! Simple Ways to Take Care of yourSELF During the Holidays...and beyond.

Simple Ways to Take Care of YourSELF During the Holidays.

Most of us are in the throes of the season. With that unfortunately is us getting sick and feeling rundown due to the expectations and pressures that we put on ourselves to create the “best holiday ever”.  Unfortunately, the stress that comes with this magical time of year seems to be accepted by many and par for the course.

Tis the season to socialize more, spend more, do more, eat more, and sleep LESS. If taking care of yourself doesn’t come naturally, and you still insist on putting everything else before your own needs, you probably go into over-serving mode during the holidays. You go out of your way to make sure everything is ready, and neglect taking time out to care for yourself. Does this sound like you?

If you fall into this mode, or if you are just in need of some extra good TLC during this time, try one of these simple ways to take care of you during the holidays...and into 2018.

1. morning routine
If every day, you make a little time for yourself first thing, you can move through your day with more grace and intention. Your morning routine might only be 5 minutes long to start, but even that will help. Use the time to sit quietly with a cup of tea, meditate, journal, walk, or include other activities that feed your body, mind, heart, and soul.

2. candlelight
I love listening to music with candles burning or just sitting quietly in candlelight. As the days get darker, add light to your day.

3. take a walk
Go outside and take a walk. Bundle up if it’s cold and head out with the intention of noticing the magic of the season. Don’t worry about burning calories or tracking your activity, just enjoy yourself and the moment.

4. respect your budget
Once you figure out what you can spend on extras like holiday gifts, events, and other holiday things, honor that. If you splurge now, you pay even more later. And later comes sooner than you think. Why not invite those you usually exchange with to spend quality time versus gift giving. It eliminates the stress of what to buy and provides memories that will be priceless.

5. indulge and eat well
Indulge in your favorite holiday treats, but keep a balance by eating well during 85-90% of the time. Don’t eat the treats you don’t really care about just because it’s there, and savor the first few bites of your indulgences. It’s ok to give it all a try in smaller portion sizes and enjoy without the guilt.

6. live without a schedule
Make room for holiday magic to unfold and cancel some of your planned activities.

7. nap
Give your body and brain a chance to recharge on those go-go-go holiday marathon days. Even 15 minutes can make a big difference.

8. get lost in a book
Unplug. Close your computer and other digital devices and curl up with a good book. Instead of reading something for self-improvement or work, read something for your heart and escape into a good read.

9. laugh
Call or spend time with those that make you laugh harder than anyone else. Then laugh until you cry.

10. find the blessings in your messes
For some reason we really like to beat ourselves up at the end of the year for all that we’ve done and left undone. Sometimes it takes a big, heart wrenching mess to wake us up, to inspire change, and to finally release us from the guilt of getting there in the first place. Understand the lessons and the blessings and move forward.

11. forgive
It’s not too late. Your forgiveness will not only heal their hearts, it will heal yours.   P.S. You don’t need an apology to forgive someone.

12. be grateful
Directing more of our attention towards gratitude for the things that make our lives wonderful are scientifically proven to make us healthier, more energetic, less stressed and anxious, and help us get better sleep.

13. say goodbye to guilt
Usually guilt is not guilt at all, but instead it’s sadness that you couldn’t do more to help, disappointment that you didn’t achieve something you set out to do, or anger because you said “yes” to something that deserved a “no”. Let that go.

14. give
There are so many opportunities to give, so many people and organizations in need. Pick something close to heart and give the way you want to give instead of how you think you are supposed to give.

15. make something
Be creative. Write a poem, start a book, draw or paint, and express yourself. Make. Create. Enjoy the process with no expectations.

16. breathe
Frustrated? Breathe in. Breathe out. Worried? Breathe in. Breathe out. Overwhelmed? Breathe in. Breathe out. Confused? Breathe in. Breathe out. Exhausted? Breathe in. Breathe out. Start there and you can often avoid over-thinking and over-reacting.

17. let go
There are benefits to moving through life, work, and relationships with a lighter step, a lighter look, and a lighter heart. If we want to be light, we have to let go of what is weighing us down.

18. stop and drop
If you’ve already overdone it, consider a full stop. Sometimes backing off isn’t enough. Take a whole day to yourself and vow to do nothing more than take care of yourself all day long.

I hope that you will take care of yourself over the holidays. It’s the best gift you can give yourself and everyone you love.

Happy Holidays to You and Yours!

Xo

Gina

Need a HYGGE?

Lately I have been really wanting to ground myself and enjoy a more simplistic way of life.  I am often regarded as the girl that can do it all, I work full time, have a busy lifestyle and holistic coaching practice, three boys, one of which is a toddler, and life in general is just BUSY.  I find myself needing and wanting to slow things down. In this feat I have come across the Danish lifestyle practice of HYGGE and have been adapting it little by little into my daily life. I have made a more conscious effort to spend more time present with family and friends.  I have enjoyed that cup of coffee and savored that glass of whiskey for a little while longer.  My husband and I have been cooking home cooked meals together at least 3-4 nights a week and have made a more conscious effort to slow things down.  I have turned off the television and have read at least one book a week with a candle burning nearby while wrapped up in a cozy chunky-knit blanket.  I have lingered in the shower for a few extra minutes to enjoy the warmth on colder mornings.

So I have broken down what I have learned about Hygge and what I am starting to practice in hopes that in translating it here, you can adopt some of this practice and also enjoy your time alone, with family and friends and ultimately have more precious moments this holiday season.

What is HYGGE? How to embrace this cozy Life Style Concept:
In Danish, hygge is (pronounced “HUE-gah”). Though there are many ways to describe hygge, it is known simply as the Danish ritual of enjoying life's simple pleasures. Friends. Family. Graciousness. It is used when acknowledging a feeling or moment, whether alone or with friends, at home or out, ordinary or extraordinary as cozy, charming or special.

Frequently described as ‘coziness’ or ‘togetherness’ in English, the term has no literal translation, making it almost impossible to pinpoint exactly what hygge means. Largely defined as more of a feeling or mood more than a specific word, the concept can be interpreted as a mental state rather than a physical one. 

Hygge is the art form of creating intimacy in any given moment. Normally a social occasion for loved ones to get together to experience the comradeship, warmth and contentment of the event, it can also be enjoyed alone to calm the nerves and sooth the senses. It is about appreciating the small joys in life at all times. 

How to Adapt to a Hygge Lifestyle

1. Light a Candle(s)
Whether scented or unscented, candlelight transforms an interior space into a flickering escape from chilly weather and a simple lit candle is seen as one of the most fundamental hygge moments to achieve. Give it a glow.

2. Add Textures to your Space
When you think of cozy and warming to create the perfect relaxing moment, think of lusciously soft textures for your décor such as chunky knit cushions, faux fur throws and pillows and fluffy woolen rugs. Not only does this create a modern and on trend styled look in any room, when combined with a roaring fire or soft candlelight, there is no setting more hygge.

3. Keep it Simple
You don’t need to overhaul your interior to make it more "hyggeligt", tiny additions to the home can transform any moment. Treating yourself to your favorite coffee or tea, indulging in new bubble bath and add some candlelight or finally putting your favorite photographs on the wall are all instant mood lifters whenever you use/see them, so take the time to enjoy them.

4. Hygge with Family & Friends
Why not invite your nearest and dearest over and get cooking, or enjoy a glass of wine (or whiskey) by a fire? Try hosting a Game Night. Not just reserved for staying inside, hygge can also be found in the great outdoors and joy can be found from simply putting on your warmest clothes and going on a winter walk with your favorite people. The notion of hygge can also be used to uplift others, so test out your baking skills and take your creation round to a friend’s house you haven’t seen in a while to indulge in a spot of hygge together.

5. Take Up a New Hobby or Practice an Old One
Taking up new hobbies to enjoy in the home allows you to switch off and refocus the mind. Turn off the TV and computers, put down the phones, and grow to love something new that you can nurture during your hygge moments in the home or pick up something you used to love to do but don’t have time for anymore. Curl up and read a good book or take on a new crafty hobby such as knitting or sewing.

6. Slow it Down
We are always rushing aren’t we? We always have somewhere to be and we are always thinking about the next thing we have to. To truly hygge you need to slow down a bit to take it all in, enjoy the small cozy moments. There will always be something else to think or worry about but this concept teaches you to take each moment as it is without rushing onto the next. Sleep in! Take the time to really enjoy the mug of coffee you have made, stay an extra ten minutes in the shower to ensure daily stresses have melted away and definitely savor that slice of cake – or you will regret it later.

7. Don't Overdo it
Hygge is never about overdoing it. It’s not about who you can impress or wow.  It is more about creating a warm and inviting space for friends and family to gather—or one that is your own unique haven.  Dinner gatherings should be simple and go back to basics for a more natural, laidback feel.

8. Enjoy the Space Around You
The key idea behind hygge is to enjoy the environment around you and feel that you have your own sanctuary to retreat to and escape and enjoy true relaxation. So whatever you are doing, take the time to revel in the tiny moments that make you smile and uplift the soul.

9. Remember to Hygge Year Round
Hygge is frequently associated with coziness, but it is a life style that can be enjoyed all year round. In warmer months, go to a local park for a picnic, sit out in the sun with a magazine, enjoy a BBQ outside with friends.  

10. Find the Hygge in a simple hug
Remember Hygge is more of a feeling than an activity.  It’s more about the connections made and the state of being.  If you look it up, it is appropriately linked to the word “hug”. 

So go ahead, pull someone close and start your Hygge lifestyle journey- one hug at a time. 

Xo
Gina